Oh the desire to be different. At Kidsville Chris, a young man in his early twenties told me today that he doesn't want to go home to Tarrytown for Thanksgiving because he doesn't want to have to talk to his family about "getting a real job", etc. I told him parents who are older, like myself, feel the same way. We don't want to have to explain to our children what we are doing.
"You can't go home again" is the fabric of American life. We are always supposed to move on, move away, do better, be better. We are supposed to surpass our parents, not just in job, career, everything. It's a part of the American myth. So Chris, a young man who got his masters in biology has been working at Kidville while he applies for jobs. It seems like he'll wind up in the pharmecutical area. But even though Tarrytown is about 50 minutes outside New York city, as Chris puts it, "he worked so hard to get away, he doesn't want to go home". I have lived so many places I am starting to wonder what "home is" or who I am.
I have not lived in New york area since 82. That's 32 years ago. I have been in sunny Southern California, LA, since 82 when we moved to San Francisco. We bought on one of those anvil mortgages one of those house that was 4 stories with views of the city and the bay from every story. We paid $750,000 in 1982 and it's probably 10-12 million now. My job was to remodel this house which was the former South African Counselate with very little money. This was San Franscisco, Pacific Heights where the Getty's lived. I didn't want anyone to know but I painted the whole house inside myself. When the kids were in school I would go to the paint store and tell them to put a little more yellow, or red, or blue in the paint. As an artist I loved to mix paints. One day I went to this paint store on Divisadero and they were mixing the paint, adding a little more yellow or red to an already mixed gallon of paint and the top was not fully on and the paint started going all over the store. I often wonder if all the paint and paint remover I used over the years caused my Parkinsons!
So here I am in Carroll Gardens in a new apartment in a largely French section. It's a big apartment, Jordans paint 4000 a month for it, but getting the girls up and down is a nightmare.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Cobble Hill, Halloween, and the Twins Birthday!
Halloween is a big deal in Cobble Hill!
Jordan and I thought we had costumes for the girls-Gigi had this animal fur suit and Tess had a Lambs outfit. But when we took the girls to the park on Saturday we didn't know there was a parade. It seemed like hundred of families all waiting with their children dressed as princesses, fairies, cat's, an apartment building, a tiger, the cookie monster, and on and on with with expectations and strollers. A few parents were dressed up. Gigi, who is now walking around, had a little hat on that looked like a bumble bee and Tess was just sitting in the park watching everything.
It's great to see the young parents all excited and trying on new roles. Actually, it was almost a mob! There were so many strollers and parents the park was filled with them and they had a police man stop traffic on the street for the parade! We didn't go in the parade. The girls were tired and needed lunch. We are always on a short leash and Kidville never has any time on the weekends-they are too busy making 500 a pop for a birthday party!
Jordan and I thought we had costumes for the girls-Gigi had this animal fur suit and Tess had a Lambs outfit. But when we took the girls to the park on Saturday we didn't know there was a parade. It seemed like hundred of families all waiting with their children dressed as princesses, fairies, cat's, an apartment building, a tiger, the cookie monster, and on and on with with expectations and strollers. A few parents were dressed up. Gigi, who is now walking around, had a little hat on that looked like a bumble bee and Tess was just sitting in the park watching everything.
It's great to see the young parents all excited and trying on new roles. Actually, it was almost a mob! There were so many strollers and parents the park was filled with them and they had a police man stop traffic on the street for the parade! We didn't go in the parade. The girls were tired and needed lunch. We are always on a short leash and Kidville never has any time on the weekends-they are too busy making 500 a pop for a birthday party!
We moved!----Home Schooling and Sharing, Kidville and brats!
Jeff came over today to fix some things in our new apartment. The bookcases needed to be secured against the wall so the twins don't pull them over on themselves, he needed to put up gates for the twins at the entrance door. It's another 3rd floor walk up, except it has two living rooms, a big kitchen, and 3 bedrooms and its four thousand a month! That's another blog!
But back to Jeff. He worked for the owner of our other brownstone where we used to live and Jordan would use him to put her air conditioner in, or secure a bookcase, etc. He'd come and chat and I knew his wife home schooled their kids. He usually works construction in the city during the day, and then he'd do odd jobs after that and on Saturday. He said he gets up at 4am to go to work, he works 6 days a week. Jeff is tall, 6'6", and of German descent. Everybody knows what everybody is here in New York. There are so many immigrants.
At any rate I was talking to Jeff about home schooling. They have a 15 year old boy, 9 year old girl, and 7 year old girl. I said "how can your wife home school your kids? Doesn't she get tired of it?"
He said that it was better than their going to the schools on Staten Island and that it only cost about 150 dollars to get a years program. I said, but how can she stand having the kids around 24 hours a day?
He said it was a lot of work for her, but that she wanted to do it. His fifteen year old is a great swimmer on a swim team, and a classical guitarist, and his one daughter loves art and does art projects all the time.
I said, "but your wife has so much power? I mean she's his whole world, his teacher and his mother?"
Jeff said that she could cause her son a lot more harm than he could do to her. He apparently went to a regular school for a short time and said that it was an ugly place, that guards checked kids bags and that it seemed horrible.
I wanted to know how they made their kids do their school work. He said that they knew that their father went to work every day and that it was just part of life, that they would have to do a similar thing some day. Jeff was putting in kid locks on the kitchen cabinets, and a gate to get into the kitchen because there is a step up to get into the kitchen and Jordan is worried that the girls will hurt themselves. So he was chatting as I was talking and making crepes. I used to always make crepes for all the grandkids (my oldest is 19 down to 6!). They would get a crepe and often one of our three dogs would very happily wait down below for the leftovers. All the dogs are gone-it was twenty years of Shitzus and Lasso Apso's.
Jeff sat down at the table and ate a couple of crepes, I felt they were a bit dull, but he didn't complain!
This concept of work and home schooling is fascinating. Most people I knew, myself included, loved school for the break you got. I would get sad on the days the kids had extra holiday's. What were we going to do? My youngest son, Michael, has always been fascinated with home schooling out in Los Angeles. A friend of his from college, Adam, whose kids are 4 and 6, his wife home schools the kids and Michael really admires it. He always talks about how well behaved they are and adjusted to life.
But how did he stand the children, or his wife stand them 24 hours a day? Jeff said that he worked 6 days a week and that his wife got Sunday off. He needed to see the kids and she needed a break. I wanted to know if he was religous? He said no, not particularly. Was he close to his two sister? No, he said. Why not, I asked. "Because my mother had a philosophy of divide and conquer." So we were pitted against one another. "That's sad" I answered. We chatted some more and he had to go on to his next job.
Actually what I didn't mention was how much Gigi liked Jeff, whereas Tess at first was scared of him. Gigi even tried to pick up his drill. It was a riot to watch. She held his hand and he was so gentle with her. The gentle giant, I thought!
But now its ten o'clock the girls were up last night, bedtime!
But back to Jeff. He worked for the owner of our other brownstone where we used to live and Jordan would use him to put her air conditioner in, or secure a bookcase, etc. He'd come and chat and I knew his wife home schooled their kids. He usually works construction in the city during the day, and then he'd do odd jobs after that and on Saturday. He said he gets up at 4am to go to work, he works 6 days a week. Jeff is tall, 6'6", and of German descent. Everybody knows what everybody is here in New York. There are so many immigrants.
At any rate I was talking to Jeff about home schooling. They have a 15 year old boy, 9 year old girl, and 7 year old girl. I said "how can your wife home school your kids? Doesn't she get tired of it?"
He said that it was better than their going to the schools on Staten Island and that it only cost about 150 dollars to get a years program. I said, but how can she stand having the kids around 24 hours a day?
He said it was a lot of work for her, but that she wanted to do it. His fifteen year old is a great swimmer on a swim team, and a classical guitarist, and his one daughter loves art and does art projects all the time.
I said, "but your wife has so much power? I mean she's his whole world, his teacher and his mother?"
Jeff said that she could cause her son a lot more harm than he could do to her. He apparently went to a regular school for a short time and said that it was an ugly place, that guards checked kids bags and that it seemed horrible.
I wanted to know how they made their kids do their school work. He said that they knew that their father went to work every day and that it was just part of life, that they would have to do a similar thing some day. Jeff was putting in kid locks on the kitchen cabinets, and a gate to get into the kitchen because there is a step up to get into the kitchen and Jordan is worried that the girls will hurt themselves. So he was chatting as I was talking and making crepes. I used to always make crepes for all the grandkids (my oldest is 19 down to 6!). They would get a crepe and often one of our three dogs would very happily wait down below for the leftovers. All the dogs are gone-it was twenty years of Shitzus and Lasso Apso's.
Jeff sat down at the table and ate a couple of crepes, I felt they were a bit dull, but he didn't complain!
This concept of work and home schooling is fascinating. Most people I knew, myself included, loved school for the break you got. I would get sad on the days the kids had extra holiday's. What were we going to do? My youngest son, Michael, has always been fascinated with home schooling out in Los Angeles. A friend of his from college, Adam, whose kids are 4 and 6, his wife home schools the kids and Michael really admires it. He always talks about how well behaved they are and adjusted to life.
But how did he stand the children, or his wife stand them 24 hours a day? Jeff said that he worked 6 days a week and that his wife got Sunday off. He needed to see the kids and she needed a break. I wanted to know if he was religous? He said no, not particularly. Was he close to his two sister? No, he said. Why not, I asked. "Because my mother had a philosophy of divide and conquer." So we were pitted against one another. "That's sad" I answered. We chatted some more and he had to go on to his next job.
Actually what I didn't mention was how much Gigi liked Jeff, whereas Tess at first was scared of him. Gigi even tried to pick up his drill. It was a riot to watch. She held his hand and he was so gentle with her. The gentle giant, I thought!
But now its ten o'clock the girls were up last night, bedtime!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
The racquet of Kidville University!
Oh the racquets for the rich! At "Kidville University" in Cobble Hill your expensive little child can be socialized for only $2495 per semester for "2" hours 3 days a week! Or you can fork over $4890 per year on top of what you are already paying to the nanny, etc.
This all takes place at Kidville University, or, what you might say, "a great money making franchise". Also what Jordan thought was going to be a place for the girls to explore in the teeny padded gym, it turns out the owner will cancel any play time the children if he can squeeze in a birthday party at 500+a pop!
AHHHHHHH!!!! Once again, there was no time set aside for those customers who have paid for gym time because more dollars can be made giving Bday parties!
This all takes place at Kidville University, or, what you might say, "a great money making franchise". Also what Jordan thought was going to be a place for the girls to explore in the teeny padded gym, it turns out the owner will cancel any play time the children if he can squeeze in a birthday party at 500+a pop!
AHHHHHHH!!!! Once again, there was no time set aside for those customers who have paid for gym time because more dollars can be made giving Bday parties!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Kidville and Warren Buffett!
Maria and I took Tess and Gigi to Kidville today. This is where all the nannies and a few parents take their children when not at the park. It's a small store front on Court St. with a front reception room about 9x10 where the parents park their strollers. On one side they have classes like "rockin railroad" with a real band and a singer, and in the other room is a padded childproof room for the children to climb, jump on a trampoline, swing on a rope, etc. We got there with Tess and Gigi and tons of toddlers with their Jamaican and St. Vincent nannies sitting around. There was a grandfather and grandmother with their grandchildren. The grandfather, Jim, it turns out was from San Jose and he wasn't watching the children. We started talking about East coast versus West Coast and the rents, etc. He said he and his wife, who originally was from Brooklyn, rented a place for the month for 3000, but he said nobody wanted to trust them because they were from out of town. His daughter was an attorney who worked in NY and his son-in-law was a chef.
"He thought of opening a restaurant in NY, but there would be about 300,000 in fees! It's crazy. This city is run by the attorneys. He's not going to do it here, he says he'll go to the west coast if he wants to open something."
I told him how provencial I thought it all was here.
He didn't know how much rent his daughter paid, but he said "I'm from the bay area which is supposed to be the highest priced area in the country, but it's nothing compared to here!"
"He thought of opening a restaurant in NY, but there would be about 300,000 in fees! It's crazy. This city is run by the attorneys. He's not going to do it here, he says he'll go to the west coast if he wants to open something."
I told him how provencial I thought it all was here.
He didn't know how much rent his daughter paid, but he said "I'm from the bay area which is supposed to be the highest priced area in the country, but it's nothing compared to here!"
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Cobble Hill-the rents are nuts! And San Francisco, Los Gatos
What can I say-things change in a week. Jordan was all set to take the apartment, but then the landlady dragged her heels and put it up on Street Easy minus the broker for $4500. The owner wanted to wait a week even though we'd agreed to $4200. Well, Jordan was all ready to sign that week and then I went nuts. I thought it was too small, too dark, though nicely done inside, and that we'd hate the bars on the windows. Plus, being from the midwest and California, those apartments are "basements" and nobody lives in a basement. By Sunday the whole deal fell apart. Jordan thought twice about the price and said no more than $4000. Meanwhile, the landlady herself had her own suspicions about us and said we were not a fit! She was right and the apartment went back on Street easy for $3900!
I met a grandma in the park from Hungary, named Susana, and she was here watching her grandson who was 6 months old. She said her daughter and her husband were architects in the city and he was Japanese. At Christmas the Japanese grandparents were coming over to watch the baby.
"I feel it is not good here, too expensive. Plus, when I was a mother in the sixties we got 3 years to be with the children. All they care about here is money, money. I think they will have to eventually leave. The mothers need to be with the children". I told her about the irony that Kate Middelton was staying home with her "mother" as a nanny, while all the "Brooklyn" moms were running to work leaving the children with nannies. Of course the fact that society never considered a woman's job worth anything is indicative of our society.
But it seems like everyone is under stress these days. Jordan's good friend in San Fran quit her job as an attorney when her husband went back to work, but then his company went under and now both need a job. And my daughter-in-laws good friend in Los Gatos, Serena, is under a lot of stress. Her husband has been out of a job for more than a year and they have to sell their house, under market value. Plus she went back to work as a translator half time and gets up at 3 in the morning for overseas hours!
Another one of Jordan's friends is a missionary in Brazil. Her name is Angela and Jordan knew her from high school. SHe lived in Washington DC, but hated it there. She said everyone was into their possessions, their I Phone, etc. She, her husband, and her children went back to Brazil.
So, what's it all about? Alfie?
I met a grandma in the park from Hungary, named Susana, and she was here watching her grandson who was 6 months old. She said her daughter and her husband were architects in the city and he was Japanese. At Christmas the Japanese grandparents were coming over to watch the baby.
"I feel it is not good here, too expensive. Plus, when I was a mother in the sixties we got 3 years to be with the children. All they care about here is money, money. I think they will have to eventually leave. The mothers need to be with the children". I told her about the irony that Kate Middelton was staying home with her "mother" as a nanny, while all the "Brooklyn" moms were running to work leaving the children with nannies. Of course the fact that society never considered a woman's job worth anything is indicative of our society.
But it seems like everyone is under stress these days. Jordan's good friend in San Fran quit her job as an attorney when her husband went back to work, but then his company went under and now both need a job. And my daughter-in-laws good friend in Los Gatos, Serena, is under a lot of stress. Her husband has been out of a job for more than a year and they have to sell their house, under market value. Plus she went back to work as a translator half time and gets up at 3 in the morning for overseas hours!
Another one of Jordan's friends is a missionary in Brazil. Her name is Angela and Jordan knew her from high school. SHe lived in Washington DC, but hated it there. She said everyone was into their possessions, their I Phone, etc. She, her husband, and her children went back to Brazil.
So, what's it all about? Alfie?
Sunday, September 29, 2013
We Audition for an Apartment in PS 29 and Middle School Drama!
Jordan found an apartment-two bedrooms, ground floor, remodeled, with bars on the front window and trash cans outside it, and a car in a parking space! Oh yes, and it has 15x15 foot yard with astro turf!
Oh yes, the asking price, $4500. It makes me nuts, but Jordan went for it. The owner, Italian, named Maria, came over to the real estate office to "check" us out. Jordan didn't do much to present herself, but I put my lipstick and hat on and wheeled the girls around while Jordan filled out the papers. Then Maria and the broker Phillip followed us to Carroll Gardens to "check us out more." Maria also told Jordan she'd like to meet the nanny. Maria's Catholic, so I brought up my Catholic roots and told her one of the nannies had sent her daughter to St. John's. Maria's daughter is going to St. John's. But about the apartment,
I'm pretty sure she'll get it!
Meanwhile Sidney is back from Maine and she went with her ex to take their daughter, Grace, to a middle school open house.
"We were like a bunch of gypsies going there. Grace was pulling on her top and I was nervous! I'd move back to Maine in an instant if I could, if my ex would cooperate!" (of course that is usually why they're an ex!)
"All of this pressure is just too much! I'm exhausted!"
We just been over at PS 29 visiting Staci, Tom, and their two children, Heather and Ryan, and even though it was a Sunday, there were tons of children playing and running around the playground. They'd gone up to Maine too to visit Sidney and we spoke of kids, Maine, and Fire Island.
Oh yes, the asking price, $4500. It makes me nuts, but Jordan went for it. The owner, Italian, named Maria, came over to the real estate office to "check" us out. Jordan didn't do much to present herself, but I put my lipstick and hat on and wheeled the girls around while Jordan filled out the papers. Then Maria and the broker Phillip followed us to Carroll Gardens to "check us out more." Maria also told Jordan she'd like to meet the nanny. Maria's Catholic, so I brought up my Catholic roots and told her one of the nannies had sent her daughter to St. John's. Maria's daughter is going to St. John's. But about the apartment,
I'm pretty sure she'll get it!
Meanwhile Sidney is back from Maine and she went with her ex to take their daughter, Grace, to a middle school open house.
"We were like a bunch of gypsies going there. Grace was pulling on her top and I was nervous! I'd move back to Maine in an instant if I could, if my ex would cooperate!" (of course that is usually why they're an ex!)
"All of this pressure is just too much! I'm exhausted!"
We just been over at PS 29 visiting Staci, Tom, and their two children, Heather and Ryan, and even though it was a Sunday, there were tons of children playing and running around the playground. They'd gone up to Maine too to visit Sidney and we spoke of kids, Maine, and Fire Island.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Cobble Hill Rents-$7000 for nothing!
As I said, they've gone nuts around property in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. The amount Jordan will pay for rent has gone from $2200 to $4500 and we looked at a place today for $7000 a month. All you could say about the apartment is that it's in a new building on a business street, no storage, and no parking. Its a 3 bedroom two story apt. with a deck, 8 foot ceilings, hardwood floors, and it would be about $100,000 to buy in St. Louis, in a good neighborhood. That's $84,000.00 a year after taxes. It all gives me a headache!
In LA, it would cost $400-500,000, depending on the neighborhood.
I keep saying "buy" and Jordan says she doesn't have enough to buy, that just to move it's going to cost her $20,000. To me, that's a down payment, but if they want 20% on a $740,000 dollar apartment, then its about $150,000 down. The broker who showed me a place the other day that Jordan had seen, suggested I "loan" or give the $150,000 to my daughter to get a condo. I don't happen to have that right now!
ANd one of the reasons is I've been living in the most expensive cities in the country the last 25 years, San Francisco and Los Angeles, Ca. Everything is relative and one's POV. The nanny from Jamaica, Marie, pays $1400 a month for her apartment and $600 some winter months for heat.
What's funny is Sidney is temporarily in her "garden" flat, I call it a basement. She is remodeling the top 3 stories of her brownstone, and the renters have left the flat. She came back from Maine and is down there with her two children, who needed to start school. She said she is mortified anybody paid 2400 for the place, that its so dark and depressing! She said she's been getting panic attacks!
In LA, it would cost $400-500,000, depending on the neighborhood.
I keep saying "buy" and Jordan says she doesn't have enough to buy, that just to move it's going to cost her $20,000. To me, that's a down payment, but if they want 20% on a $740,000 dollar apartment, then its about $150,000 down. The broker who showed me a place the other day that Jordan had seen, suggested I "loan" or give the $150,000 to my daughter to get a condo. I don't happen to have that right now!
ANd one of the reasons is I've been living in the most expensive cities in the country the last 25 years, San Francisco and Los Angeles, Ca. Everything is relative and one's POV. The nanny from Jamaica, Marie, pays $1400 a month for her apartment and $600 some winter months for heat.
What's funny is Sidney is temporarily in her "garden" flat, I call it a basement. She is remodeling the top 3 stories of her brownstone, and the renters have left the flat. She came back from Maine and is down there with her two children, who needed to start school. She said she is mortified anybody paid 2400 for the place, that its so dark and depressing! She said she's been getting panic attacks!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Let's talk about the "Middelton" brand and the "NEW ROYAL BABY"
As I mentioned earlier, the "Middelton's" seem to be calling the shots in England. Either it is conscious or unconscious-probably a mixture of both. There is no doubt that Kate set out to "get" William, her parents sending her to the same school he went to, and she patiently waited for 8 years for William to commit. That's a long time and it could have swung either way.
I suspect that the Middelton's are part of the new, aggressive middle class moving into the upper class. They are industrious, mom was a stewardess and they have a party planning company. They had enough money to take William on their vacations to the islands, to drive him around on their "boat". Recently they "moved up" from a country house, to a much larger country house, one benefitting the entertainment and visits of the future "king" of England.
They are experts at appearing normal and low key, yet much of this is a product of their industriousness. Now on to the "royal" baby-Edward. Kate didn't stay at the castle. She went there for one night and then she and William went to stay at her parents now "much larger house with separate quarters for them." Much more so than Diana, Kate was sending out signals that she was going to be a hands on mother. No nanny for them! Nope, its mom helping out! And the Middelton's set the precedent that Kate decided where they were going with newborn "baby" Edward. Or it was a young couple decision-both were comfortable at Kate's house, or "Kate" needed mom!
What I suspect is that William's relationship with her family is as important as is his relationship to Kate. Remember his mother-in-law, Camilla, is the woman who Diana felt destroyed her marriage. He lost his mother at 12 and Camilla, the woman his mother hated, stepped right into her place. She left her husband and 2 children to be with Prince Charles.
What I find fascinating is the whole nanny bit. Here I am in Cobble Hill NY and everyone has a nanny. Every mother is out there working and competing, as Kate's mom did. Remember she was a stewardess.
But now you have the whole equation being flipped around. No palace with all of its royal staff controlling Kate's every move. Nope, she's the mom and her mom is the "nanny" for now!
The Real Estate Market is NUTS in BROOKLYN_COBBLE HILL
The Landlords are going crazy. Jordan found out that our landlord just raised her rent by 800 dollars! She lives downstairs but she did it by email and has been very sheepish since then. Jordan's been looking for an apartment, 3 bedrooms, but missed out on a few good ones.
But the "landlords" are drunk with their real estate. They are charging outrageous princes for two bedroom, or 3 bedroom, dumpy apartments-4500, 5000. These are places that are nothing to write home about-they throw up a couple of walls on one floor and say its a three bedroom-no closets, no charm, no space.
Oh, but you are in Brooklyn. Half the people I talk to are moving on. My neurologist said he had a place in St. Petersburg and one outside it before he came to America. But he has a son, 20 months old, and he can't take the city. "It's impossible with a boy" was his reply and thus the migration to other parts of the NY area.
Jordans good friends, Mary and Jeremy, are professional actors. They now have 4 boys and have left NY. It's the middle age migration, comfort for family life, betters prices, more room.
Jordan will have none of that, nor will she move further out in Brooklyn. She'll miss an hour with Gigi and Tess. No way.
I looked up our old house on 32 Hobart Ave. in Summit, New Jersey. It's valued at 2 million. We did so much work on it-tearing out walls, adding on to the kitchen, carrying bank vault glass from St. Louis to summit, redoing the doors, the floors, adding a laundry room upstairs, etc. The new owners have added a pool, redone a lot of the rooms, kitchen, upstairs bathroom, etc. It looks very nice-huge.
But back to the term "landlord"-that's from the English and one is called a "landlord" because you always own the land, and every 100-1000 years you renew the lease on the land. Renters are just throwing their money away because they never get part of the equity in the land. ANd here in Cobble Hill they are going from 3-4.5 for plain old brownstones! Robbery I say! Off with their heads!
But the "landlords" are drunk with their real estate. They are charging outrageous princes for two bedroom, or 3 bedroom, dumpy apartments-4500, 5000. These are places that are nothing to write home about-they throw up a couple of walls on one floor and say its a three bedroom-no closets, no charm, no space.
Oh, but you are in Brooklyn. Half the people I talk to are moving on. My neurologist said he had a place in St. Petersburg and one outside it before he came to America. But he has a son, 20 months old, and he can't take the city. "It's impossible with a boy" was his reply and thus the migration to other parts of the NY area.
Jordans good friends, Mary and Jeremy, are professional actors. They now have 4 boys and have left NY. It's the middle age migration, comfort for family life, betters prices, more room.
Jordan will have none of that, nor will she move further out in Brooklyn. She'll miss an hour with Gigi and Tess. No way.
I looked up our old house on 32 Hobart Ave. in Summit, New Jersey. It's valued at 2 million. We did so much work on it-tearing out walls, adding on to the kitchen, carrying bank vault glass from St. Louis to summit, redoing the doors, the floors, adding a laundry room upstairs, etc. The new owners have added a pool, redone a lot of the rooms, kitchen, upstairs bathroom, etc. It looks very nice-huge.
But back to the term "landlord"-that's from the English and one is called a "landlord" because you always own the land, and every 100-1000 years you renew the lease on the land. Renters are just throwing their money away because they never get part of the equity in the land. ANd here in Cobble Hill they are going from 3-4.5 for plain old brownstones! Robbery I say! Off with their heads!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Ohh the perfection of Kate Middleton!
We have two sides...on the one hand is our "reality family", the Kardashians, raking in their millions with their constantly spewing of lies and intrigues, and plot points. On the other hand, there is the nicely "packaged" team of Kate and William-young, handsome, beautiful to look at, and "in love". Seeing the pictures of Kate it reminds me of myself 47 years ago when I got pregnant with my eldest. I too had that "glow" in my eyes, wore short skirts, was in love with my husband, and ready to live "the dream", or my fantasy of the dream.
If only it all turned out that way. There definitely is a power to tradition, staying with a certain structure, keeping the family together, being solid and dependable, which the "Middletons" seem to be. In ways its like the middle class is calling the shots. The royal family, "the firm", with all of its divorces and broken relationships, seems eager to have the "Middletons" as in laws.
Indicative of the "power" of the Middelton "brand" as opposed to the "royal family," otherwise known as the "firm;" the Middelton's seem to be calling the shots. When "Kate" got married, her sister Pippa was show cased almost more than Kate. Why worry about Kate, she's getting married? But "Pippa," well, she needed to be showcased. For the wedding of the decade, there were no other bridesmaids except Pippa, only young children. Her bridesmaid dress was white like her sisters, only form fitting and sexy compared to Kate's traditional look.
"Pippa" was the hit of the wedding with everyone talking about her-obviously she's the next to be married off!
If only it all turned out that way. There definitely is a power to tradition, staying with a certain structure, keeping the family together, being solid and dependable, which the "Middletons" seem to be. In ways its like the middle class is calling the shots. The royal family, "the firm", with all of its divorces and broken relationships, seems eager to have the "Middletons" as in laws.
Indicative of the "power" of the Middelton "brand" as opposed to the "royal family," otherwise known as the "firm;" the Middelton's seem to be calling the shots. When "Kate" got married, her sister Pippa was show cased almost more than Kate. Why worry about Kate, she's getting married? But "Pippa," well, she needed to be showcased. For the wedding of the decade, there were no other bridesmaids except Pippa, only young children. Her bridesmaid dress was white like her sisters, only form fitting and sexy compared to Kate's traditional look.
"Pippa" was the hit of the wedding with everyone talking about her-obviously she's the next to be married off!
September 5, 2013
I'm back! Okay, I took a vacation, went back to LA for a month and to Maine-god is it beautiful.
Everybody here goes out to the Hampton's, like high school, they all follow one another out there and then try and get into the same restaurants. I always said LA is like high school, don't know why you are in or out.
I've been so many different places I don't know if I'm in or out. Tess and Gigi are wild girls now-10 months old. They are both so active, no more little babies. Still in our 3rd floor loft where the brownstones are selling for 3 and 1/2 million dollars. The owner downstairs came up today to prove to us that the dishwasher works. She said she ordered one 2 months ago, or 3 months ago, but no, she didn't. Who knows about any of this stuff.
Everything is so damn expensive and I don't own a home now. Jesus. I feel out of touch with all this social media. You are supposed to spend half your time on it, its crazy.
We went up to Jordan's gorgeous house in Maine. She says she's always felt like a misfit when we went to her parents house in Rye, New York. I understand. I do too.
One of our nannies, who is actually a sleep expert, wrote me and told me she is working for a very wealthy couple in NY. They both work 12 hours a day, have two other nannies, cameras on them, etc. I told her it sounds horrible, just horrible.
She's out in the Hampton's this summer and there until 2014. But its a dull miserable life.
Jordan went to visit her brother on the opposite coast who is a venture capitalist. He had no time for her, two night of the week she was there, and he wanted her kids to go to golf camp! They don't even like golf.
In Maine though, life seems simple, real, and not that expensive, but cold as hell in winter. There is not much to do except cross country or skiing. You have to start your own business there, not too much business, but god is it beautiful.
I'm back! Okay, I took a vacation, went back to LA for a month and to Maine-god is it beautiful.
Everybody here goes out to the Hampton's, like high school, they all follow one another out there and then try and get into the same restaurants. I always said LA is like high school, don't know why you are in or out.
I've been so many different places I don't know if I'm in or out. Tess and Gigi are wild girls now-10 months old. They are both so active, no more little babies. Still in our 3rd floor loft where the brownstones are selling for 3 and 1/2 million dollars. The owner downstairs came up today to prove to us that the dishwasher works. She said she ordered one 2 months ago, or 3 months ago, but no, she didn't. Who knows about any of this stuff.
Everything is so damn expensive and I don't own a home now. Jesus. I feel out of touch with all this social media. You are supposed to spend half your time on it, its crazy.
We went up to Jordan's gorgeous house in Maine. She says she's always felt like a misfit when we went to her parents house in Rye, New York. I understand. I do too.
One of our nannies, who is actually a sleep expert, wrote me and told me she is working for a very wealthy couple in NY. They both work 12 hours a day, have two other nannies, cameras on them, etc. I told her it sounds horrible, just horrible.
She's out in the Hampton's this summer and there until 2014. But its a dull miserable life.
Jordan went to visit her brother on the opposite coast who is a venture capitalist. He had no time for her, two night of the week she was there, and he wanted her kids to go to golf camp! They don't even like golf.
In Maine though, life seems simple, real, and not that expensive, but cold as hell in winter. There is not much to do except cross country or skiing. You have to start your own business there, not too much business, but god is it beautiful.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
PS 29....Summer is Here!
Not only is it muggy, and your clothes cling to you, the air feels sticky, you want to jump in a pool and tear your blouse off, but the kids are almost out of school!
These feelings are ancient-summertime, summertime, summertime.... I always get a little sad on Sunday night because that means Mondays coming and school. But I am not in school, the girls aren't in school, but still, everyone else in Cobble Hill is in school! And PS 29 is where they all gather at 2:50 to pick up the children. I said to Sidney, who was at school to pick up her children, that it was mostly mothers who were picking up the children...
"Go to the private school-that's where all the nannies are"Sidney said.
There's a Montessori school on Court that is 30,000 a year...that's after taxes!
SO everyone is trying to move into Cobble Hill to get their children into PS 29! That's one of the reasons the rents have sky rocketed.
At the doctors today they said that the girls, Giggy and Tess, are in the 95% in terms of head size. Because they are twins, and don't always have a lot of room in the womb, their heads may get fuild inside them...that they have to watch them at 9 and 12 months. Well, I think they are just fine. Of course Jordan worried about this and do they both recognize their names, can they pretend to talk, etc. The worries never, ever, end.
But Tss is climbing all over, crawling and Gigi is getting up on all fours and rocking.... We now have a huge pen in the loft for the girls to stay in with this matt with numbers, etc on it. The apartment looks like a nursery!
These feelings are ancient-summertime, summertime, summertime.... I always get a little sad on Sunday night because that means Mondays coming and school. But I am not in school, the girls aren't in school, but still, everyone else in Cobble Hill is in school! And PS 29 is where they all gather at 2:50 to pick up the children. I said to Sidney, who was at school to pick up her children, that it was mostly mothers who were picking up the children...
"Go to the private school-that's where all the nannies are"Sidney said.
There's a Montessori school on Court that is 30,000 a year...that's after taxes!
SO everyone is trying to move into Cobble Hill to get their children into PS 29! That's one of the reasons the rents have sky rocketed.
At the doctors today they said that the girls, Giggy and Tess, are in the 95% in terms of head size. Because they are twins, and don't always have a lot of room in the womb, their heads may get fuild inside them...that they have to watch them at 9 and 12 months. Well, I think they are just fine. Of course Jordan worried about this and do they both recognize their names, can they pretend to talk, etc. The worries never, ever, end.
But Tss is climbing all over, crawling and Gigi is getting up on all fours and rocking.... We now have a huge pen in the loft for the girls to stay in with this matt with numbers, etc on it. The apartment looks like a nursery!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Oh the body and aging!
I actually thought it wouldn't happen to me, my body would never give out! At least not until my 80's. Four years ago, right around the time of my eldest sons death I noticed a tremor in my right thigh and then a small one on my lip. My partner had been saying I walked like a zombie. I said it was because I was in pain. I'd had a lot of hip and back pain. Then my daughter-in-law said I didn't swing my arms when I walked. So what, I thought. But when I looked up tremors Parkinsons came up. I couldn't believe it. I was sure it was all those years of remodeling houses and the paint remover I'd used.
It took 6 months for the doctor at Kaiser to give me medication-I worked hard to look normal. Like everyone else I read all about it and had investigated stem cell work in Germany. It's since then been disbanded.
It's hard to believe I have it. I expect my body to function and when it doesn't its quite frustrating.
When I was in my mid forties I feel off the deck and fractured my back. I'd healed from it just fine. I'd also taken Fosamax for a number of years and stopped it when they said people's jaws were locking. Then one night we skidded going home. It was raining, and in order to avoid oncoming traffic our car went up the curb. I was holding our dog andtried to protect er. WHen it was over I'd fractured my back on top of an old fracture. I didn't find this out until I insisted on a MRI of my lumbar spine, Kaiser (no longer with them but where the ambulance went) missed looking at my lumbar spine. It took 2 weeks to get an MRI that revealed what was going on in my body. And two vertebrae popped out. I thought they'd put themb back in place but the consensus was to leave them. It's driven me nuts. I've now learned that's what dowagers get! And I've heard the word Osteoporasis, taken the drug Forteo, and realized I'd not been taking proper care of my bones. Like Parkinson's, this wasn't something I could spontaneously heal. It was a mess because with my back out, my spine was weakened. I can't pick up the twins, and a really heavy bag of groceries is tough. I thought with the milk I had every day, and the walking and yoga I did, I was fine. Apparently not.
So aging. The body doth age, unfortunately, and even for the baby boomers.
It took 6 months for the doctor at Kaiser to give me medication-I worked hard to look normal. Like everyone else I read all about it and had investigated stem cell work in Germany. It's since then been disbanded.
It's hard to believe I have it. I expect my body to function and when it doesn't its quite frustrating.
When I was in my mid forties I feel off the deck and fractured my back. I'd healed from it just fine. I'd also taken Fosamax for a number of years and stopped it when they said people's jaws were locking. Then one night we skidded going home. It was raining, and in order to avoid oncoming traffic our car went up the curb. I was holding our dog andtried to protect er. WHen it was over I'd fractured my back on top of an old fracture. I didn't find this out until I insisted on a MRI of my lumbar spine, Kaiser (no longer with them but where the ambulance went) missed looking at my lumbar spine. It took 2 weeks to get an MRI that revealed what was going on in my body. And two vertebrae popped out. I thought they'd put themb back in place but the consensus was to leave them. It's driven me nuts. I've now learned that's what dowagers get! And I've heard the word Osteoporasis, taken the drug Forteo, and realized I'd not been taking proper care of my bones. Like Parkinson's, this wasn't something I could spontaneously heal. It was a mess because with my back out, my spine was weakened. I can't pick up the twins, and a really heavy bag of groceries is tough. I thought with the milk I had every day, and the walking and yoga I did, I was fine. Apparently not.
So aging. The body doth age, unfortunately, and even for the baby boomers.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Life is a strange repetition!
Life is strange. I just heard from a friend of my childhood-Peggy, who I trick or treated with when I was 10! I remember one year I was a cigarette box, I can't recall what Peggy was, and we went back to her house and her mom was there smoking a cigarette. I remember her mom in the kitchen and how we'd come in and she'd listen to us. It's strange having these memories from so long ago. We both went to Catholic grade school and high school together, Nerinx Hall in St. Louis, Mo. Now we are grandmothers!
Also our first children were born at the same year, one day apart, same month. She breast fed a lot longer than I did.
It's funny because we moved to Glendale, Mo., when I was 9 or 10. It is in St. Louis, Mo., the gateway to the west and home of the "arch". There were 2 golf courses just a half block and 3 blocks from our house. I would run down to the golf course in the summer at night time, and just walk around it. I thought of the golf course as my own private back yard even though we didn't belong. And I remember ice skating, and sled riding on the golf courses.
I think it was high school, one of the "cool" girls from grade school, Mary Queen of Peace, was named Kathy L. One Sunday at Mass I saw her and she was pregnant. I guess she dropped out of high school for the time being, and I'd see her at Mass with her family as her pregnancy grew. She was about 15 or 16. Then you didn't abort babies, you'd give them up for adoption. But she was so young and it was so strange to see her pregnant. Somehow I got the lesson that you could be very cool, from a cool family, and strange things can happen to you.
Now, here in Cobble Hill, we have every kind of combination. At dance class the other day I saw 3 triplets, girls, and their nanny informed me that the parents were two "gay" men! That must be wild I thought, two guys and 3 girls in puberty! Another young mother I met, has two boys, 3 and five, with her gay partner. It seems PS 29 has every kind of combination.
Also our first children were born at the same year, one day apart, same month. She breast fed a lot longer than I did.
It's funny because we moved to Glendale, Mo., when I was 9 or 10. It is in St. Louis, Mo., the gateway to the west and home of the "arch". There were 2 golf courses just a half block and 3 blocks from our house. I would run down to the golf course in the summer at night time, and just walk around it. I thought of the golf course as my own private back yard even though we didn't belong. And I remember ice skating, and sled riding on the golf courses.
I think it was high school, one of the "cool" girls from grade school, Mary Queen of Peace, was named Kathy L. One Sunday at Mass I saw her and she was pregnant. I guess she dropped out of high school for the time being, and I'd see her at Mass with her family as her pregnancy grew. She was about 15 or 16. Then you didn't abort babies, you'd give them up for adoption. But she was so young and it was so strange to see her pregnant. Somehow I got the lesson that you could be very cool, from a cool family, and strange things can happen to you.
Now, here in Cobble Hill, we have every kind of combination. At dance class the other day I saw 3 triplets, girls, and their nanny informed me that the parents were two "gay" men! That must be wild I thought, two guys and 3 girls in puberty! Another young mother I met, has two boys, 3 and five, with her gay partner. It seems PS 29 has every kind of combination.
Monday, June 3, 2013
The Nannies Compare Notes
On Mondays and Wednesdays we have two nannies and it's interesting to watch them interact with one another. Josephine, from St. Luci, and Samantha from Jamaica traded off today. Josephine was going, Samantha was coming. Jordan had tried to get Josephine to be her full time nanny, but she still wants to work for the three different families she has over the years. It's strange...because its a lot of traveling and peacemeal days, half a day in NY, half a day in Brooklyn. Josephine was not ready to leave her families even though for two of them the kids are grown and she's cleaning their houses.
I could see today as Samantha and Josephine compared notes, that they were doing whatever emloyees will do when they get together-talk about their holidays, their jobs, what they're doing. It reminded me of two ladies at a sewing circle.
Samantha, who is always well dressed when she arrives, said she'd had a great weekend and not gotten to bed until 6am. She looked happy. She also said she was going to Atlanta this weekend with her husband and children.
Then somehow the talk meandered around to the girls. Samantha said she thought they looked alike. She also said that she "burps" Gigi right after 5 ounces and that way she doesn't throw up. Josephine nodded that she did the same thing.
I mentioned how we'd met these two twins over the weekend who lived in the neighborhood. They were having a book and lemonade sale and we found out the boy and girl were twins. I said they didn't look alike at all-the girl looked a couple of years older than the boy and she was a completely different body type.
I mentioned how Nancy, a mother of another set of twins, said that her girls traded positions-one would be fussy and the other one easy. And then they would switch back. Apparently that is a trait.
Josephine said she knew the twins I was referring to, that they were in school with the girl she watches. They went to PS29, the neighborhood school all the families want. That's why the rents have risen 25% in the last 7 months!
Josephine said she needed to get going-picking the girls up at school, and she said her goodbyes.
Samatha got "undressed". When she nannies she takes her wig off, and there is her short braided hair, she wears old hospital socks, warm up pants and a top. The other day she was so hot she was in her bra for a few minutes. I told her you wouldn't recognize her from seeing her on the street. We are a 3rd floor walk up in a Brownstone and we rarely get visitors.
It's a funny world!
I could see today as Samantha and Josephine compared notes, that they were doing whatever emloyees will do when they get together-talk about their holidays, their jobs, what they're doing. It reminded me of two ladies at a sewing circle.
Samantha, who is always well dressed when she arrives, said she'd had a great weekend and not gotten to bed until 6am. She looked happy. She also said she was going to Atlanta this weekend with her husband and children.
Then somehow the talk meandered around to the girls. Samantha said she thought they looked alike. She also said that she "burps" Gigi right after 5 ounces and that way she doesn't throw up. Josephine nodded that she did the same thing.
I mentioned how we'd met these two twins over the weekend who lived in the neighborhood. They were having a book and lemonade sale and we found out the boy and girl were twins. I said they didn't look alike at all-the girl looked a couple of years older than the boy and she was a completely different body type.
I mentioned how Nancy, a mother of another set of twins, said that her girls traded positions-one would be fussy and the other one easy. And then they would switch back. Apparently that is a trait.
Josephine said she knew the twins I was referring to, that they were in school with the girl she watches. They went to PS29, the neighborhood school all the families want. That's why the rents have risen 25% in the last 7 months!
Josephine said she needed to get going-picking the girls up at school, and she said her goodbyes.
Samatha got "undressed". When she nannies she takes her wig off, and there is her short braided hair, she wears old hospital socks, warm up pants and a top. The other day she was so hot she was in her bra for a few minutes. I told her you wouldn't recognize her from seeing her on the street. We are a 3rd floor walk up in a Brownstone and we rarely get visitors.
It's a funny world!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Letting go of the big House on Warren and Twins at the Park!
Today a friend of Sidney's, Veronica, is moving out of her big house in Cobble Hill! Sidney calls to ask me if I want to go see a "club chair" Veronica is giving away!
And she has mor stuff, Sidney says. Being the curious "collector", I jump out of the chair and rush down there. Outside the men are sweating in the hot, humid summer with boxes and furniture all over the sidewalk. I go inside to see Veronica on the phone, a mover with a brush and a can of paint in his hand trying to see if it is the right color for the hallway nicks and chips.
How do I remember moving out of these houses! We had a four story house in San Franscisco with double views of the city and bay we left in 84. It was simply too much money and when I refused to move back to NY, (the company would buy the house if we couldn't sell it), we had to put it up for sale. It was one of those huge 4 story houses in Pacific Heights that had incredible views. All the kids were in private school and it was costing a fortune. I even had an "estate sale" though no one died!
I looked at the chair Veronica was giving away, and told her I was sorry she had to leave the house.
"Oh, don't be" she said. "I'm happy!"
And then it hit me-it's that time of life, late forties, fifties, and you find yourself managing these huge houses, all so that you can look like a family "full of life!" But they are a pain in the "ass" in many ways.
And while Veronica's house sold for 3.5 millions, sight unseen, people waiting outside for the "fantasy life," it all comes at a price. Seeing the inside of her brownstone with its ridiculously high stairs, and long narrow rooms, it had long since lost its appeal to me. Veronica's children were teenagers getting ready for their own lives. The world was in a giant platonic shift!
Meanwhile the nanny and I took Tess and Gigi to Cobble Hill Park, spread out a sheet and watched the girls crawl on it. Well, Tess had gone from hoping to crawling, and we were in terror of what might happen!
I am feeling too old for all of this!
And she has mor stuff, Sidney says. Being the curious "collector", I jump out of the chair and rush down there. Outside the men are sweating in the hot, humid summer with boxes and furniture all over the sidewalk. I go inside to see Veronica on the phone, a mover with a brush and a can of paint in his hand trying to see if it is the right color for the hallway nicks and chips.
How do I remember moving out of these houses! We had a four story house in San Franscisco with double views of the city and bay we left in 84. It was simply too much money and when I refused to move back to NY, (the company would buy the house if we couldn't sell it), we had to put it up for sale. It was one of those huge 4 story houses in Pacific Heights that had incredible views. All the kids were in private school and it was costing a fortune. I even had an "estate sale" though no one died!
I looked at the chair Veronica was giving away, and told her I was sorry she had to leave the house.
"Oh, don't be" she said. "I'm happy!"
And then it hit me-it's that time of life, late forties, fifties, and you find yourself managing these huge houses, all so that you can look like a family "full of life!" But they are a pain in the "ass" in many ways.
And while Veronica's house sold for 3.5 millions, sight unseen, people waiting outside for the "fantasy life," it all comes at a price. Seeing the inside of her brownstone with its ridiculously high stairs, and long narrow rooms, it had long since lost its appeal to me. Veronica's children were teenagers getting ready for their own lives. The world was in a giant platonic shift!
Meanwhile the nanny and I took Tess and Gigi to Cobble Hill Park, spread out a sheet and watched the girls crawl on it. Well, Tess had gone from hoping to crawling, and we were in terror of what might happen!
I am feeling too old for all of this!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Off the Books and the Nannies are in Charge!
I can't believe it is almost memorial day! The girls are almost 7 months old. Time is flying by. It seems our nanny is not ready to leave her other job. Jordan interviewed some nannies, one of them said she "wouldn't do housework, just the kids, wouldn't claim anything, off the books, and she wanted 2 weeks vacation and a metro card!"
It's crazy. Only here in Brooklyn and in NY where the mothers are guilty do you have nannies, many of them from the Caribbean and St. Vincent, demanding such ridiculous wages. They want 800 to 900 a week, off the books, paid holidays, etc., no housework, and a metro card. It's actually amazing, all of this usually with little or no college education. A few of the women have taken college classes, but try and go in the workplace and demand this kind of money with very few skills other than you "like children" and you've taken CPR.
It's like they take the position of the mother and hold her hostage and all the while she feels "guilty" for leaving her kids. It's pretty amazing.
There's apparently a whole system and the "nanies" talk. One mother of twins Jordan knows, Carla, her nanny was approached by another nanny, to whom she did not give the job, and told that "she was being cheated by her employer." The nanny went back to ask Carla if this was true. Carla was giving her 750 a week, plus a metro card.
But if Jordan wants to claim a nanny as part of her expense as working, the nanny would have to be on the books. This most of them don't want to do. I tried to explain to a few of these women, that if they are on the books they will be building up social security and unemployment, but the information seems to go nowhere.
Currently we have one woman almost full time, Eugen, who is "called a Baby Nurse." A baby nurse does nothing except take care of babies. Since she came as a baby nurse, she never does anything around the house. If the babies are sleeping she does cross word puzzles, watches TV, or talks on the phone. She also asks me to do things, get a bottle, help her feed, etc. Jordan says she hired her as a baby nurse, and since she never does anything anyway, she can't change her!
It's crazy. Only here in Brooklyn and in NY where the mothers are guilty do you have nannies, many of them from the Caribbean and St. Vincent, demanding such ridiculous wages. They want 800 to 900 a week, off the books, paid holidays, etc., no housework, and a metro card. It's actually amazing, all of this usually with little or no college education. A few of the women have taken college classes, but try and go in the workplace and demand this kind of money with very few skills other than you "like children" and you've taken CPR.
It's like they take the position of the mother and hold her hostage and all the while she feels "guilty" for leaving her kids. It's pretty amazing.
There's apparently a whole system and the "nanies" talk. One mother of twins Jordan knows, Carla, her nanny was approached by another nanny, to whom she did not give the job, and told that "she was being cheated by her employer." The nanny went back to ask Carla if this was true. Carla was giving her 750 a week, plus a metro card.
But if Jordan wants to claim a nanny as part of her expense as working, the nanny would have to be on the books. This most of them don't want to do. I tried to explain to a few of these women, that if they are on the books they will be building up social security and unemployment, but the information seems to go nowhere.
Currently we have one woman almost full time, Eugen, who is "called a Baby Nurse." A baby nurse does nothing except take care of babies. Since she came as a baby nurse, she never does anything around the house. If the babies are sleeping she does cross word puzzles, watches TV, or talks on the phone. She also asks me to do things, get a bottle, help her feed, etc. Jordan says she hired her as a baby nurse, and since she never does anything anyway, she can't change her!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Never never land!
I have been here a long time. I am starting to lose track of everything. Jordans life is got to work at 9, come home at 7. Put girls to bed. Then stay up with girls half the night, get up with them at 7am, play with them til eave for works at nine.
Mine is babies, babies, babies. Tonight I am at her friends house. I am stsying up late. It is good not to have to go to bed early. Jordans been sleeping in the big loft room where I am.
I need to review my situation and what I'm doing. You can lose track of time with children, be in an endless baby world. That's it!
Mine is babies, babies, babies. Tonight I am at her friends house. I am stsying up late. It is good not to have to go to bed early. Jordans been sleeping in the big loft room where I am.
I need to review my situation and what I'm doing. You can lose track of time with children, be in an endless baby world. That's it!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
The Twins are Becoming Big Girls-Coorperate America is Counter Productive!
Gigi and Tess are getting BIG! They are 6 months and in that stage where they are neither crawling nor walking, can roll over. Gigi hops like a bunny, and Tess still likes to use her hands a lot.
But the fact is that any small amount of time where they are occupied is great.
Jordan bought a tank, that's what we call it, for the girls. Gigi immediately loved it and started driving around the apartment. It's like those baby floaties... the kids think they can swim when they can't.
Next we bought an activity center, its one of those funny looking contraptions that you can bounce in and that has lots of gadget's to play with. Tess immediately started bouncing like crazy and Gigi went over to her in her "tank" and they laughed and laughed. They howled, they screetched, they went wild. It was like the first time they had really seen one another.
Win one for the girls being occupied for more than five minutes!
Now at work Jordan is under a lot of stress. A new company is running her division, and the executive at the company base, a woman, is simply not happy with how Jordan's running things. Constant notes, constant second guessing, constant pressure to change. But the fact is Jordan's a good manager, fair, open, teaching those she manages and wanting them to do well. When I used to go on commercial shoots with her father, he was on the client side but very liberal and open. Unlike many of the other executives, he didn't try andc control every little piece of the shoot. He'd let the creative team do what they did. When you try and over control, you kill the baby with the bathwater.
It's like anything in life, the more you try and control, the more things get out of control!
But the fact is that any small amount of time where they are occupied is great.
Jordan bought a tank, that's what we call it, for the girls. Gigi immediately loved it and started driving around the apartment. It's like those baby floaties... the kids think they can swim when they can't.
Next we bought an activity center, its one of those funny looking contraptions that you can bounce in and that has lots of gadget's to play with. Tess immediately started bouncing like crazy and Gigi went over to her in her "tank" and they laughed and laughed. They howled, they screetched, they went wild. It was like the first time they had really seen one another.
Win one for the girls being occupied for more than five minutes!
Now at work Jordan is under a lot of stress. A new company is running her division, and the executive at the company base, a woman, is simply not happy with how Jordan's running things. Constant notes, constant second guessing, constant pressure to change. But the fact is Jordan's a good manager, fair, open, teaching those she manages and wanting them to do well. When I used to go on commercial shoots with her father, he was on the client side but very liberal and open. Unlike many of the other executives, he didn't try andc control every little piece of the shoot. He'd let the creative team do what they did. When you try and over control, you kill the baby with the bathwater.
It's like anything in life, the more you try and control, the more things get out of control!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Mothers Day-What about guilt?
As I ponder Sunday and the many ramifications from the East coast to the West coast and all of AMerica in between I am struck by the many levels of feelings mothers have.
One of our biggest feelings is guilt, guilt, guilt.
Yesterday Gigi fell off the bed and Jordan couldn't stop beating herself up. She been up all night with both twins, working full time, and moved away from both twins on the bed for one second while she grabbed a toy. Gigi rolled over and bam, off the bed.
"I should have, I can't believe, why did I, what happened?" The barrage wouldn't stop. I told her to stop. But then she said I do that to myself all the time! I guess she's right.
I became a mother at 20 and I've felt guilty for 47 years!
Plus enter Gloria Steinem and Betty Freidan and we have more guilt-work guilt, career guilt, body guilt, house guilt, what we said or did guilt.
I will never forget the lesson of my dog Putty. We had puppies with her and kept one of the dogs Patch. She'd long since stopped nursing, but when Patch would get up in the morning he would bark at her and she would look around confused about what to do. She was a mother, and he expected her to mother.
But what about mothering? Sunday is the mother's day where the family is supposed to love mom and prove it. Thus the husband doesn't go play golf, or tennis, or surf, he goes to "brunch" with mom and the kids or makes breakfast and buys her flowers!
Yet back to mothering. Mothering is not just biological or adoption. It is caring for, nuturing, teaching, helping someone else. It is protecting the innocent, feeding the hungry, teaching a better way of life. It is about the circle of love rather than the rocket of performance. It is not about Wall Street and amassing hundreds of millions for oneself, no, it is about thinking of and caring for the least of our brethren. It is about the fact that we are all one, one huge family.
And then there is the final frontier of mothering...ourselves. How do we parent and nurture ourselves in ways we were not parented. How do we get out of the blame game and into self realization. How do we love ourselves. Are we good to ourselves. If we were our baby, would we treat ourselves like that?
This is the final and greatest frontier-ourselves. For how we treat ourselves, is how we show others how to mother, father, and treat themselves.
So Happy Mothers Day to yourself and all those around you!
One of our biggest feelings is guilt, guilt, guilt.
Yesterday Gigi fell off the bed and Jordan couldn't stop beating herself up. She been up all night with both twins, working full time, and moved away from both twins on the bed for one second while she grabbed a toy. Gigi rolled over and bam, off the bed.
"I should have, I can't believe, why did I, what happened?" The barrage wouldn't stop. I told her to stop. But then she said I do that to myself all the time! I guess she's right.
I became a mother at 20 and I've felt guilty for 47 years!
Plus enter Gloria Steinem and Betty Freidan and we have more guilt-work guilt, career guilt, body guilt, house guilt, what we said or did guilt.
I will never forget the lesson of my dog Putty. We had puppies with her and kept one of the dogs Patch. She'd long since stopped nursing, but when Patch would get up in the morning he would bark at her and she would look around confused about what to do. She was a mother, and he expected her to mother.
But what about mothering? Sunday is the mother's day where the family is supposed to love mom and prove it. Thus the husband doesn't go play golf, or tennis, or surf, he goes to "brunch" with mom and the kids or makes breakfast and buys her flowers!
Yet back to mothering. Mothering is not just biological or adoption. It is caring for, nuturing, teaching, helping someone else. It is protecting the innocent, feeding the hungry, teaching a better way of life. It is about the circle of love rather than the rocket of performance. It is not about Wall Street and amassing hundreds of millions for oneself, no, it is about thinking of and caring for the least of our brethren. It is about the fact that we are all one, one huge family.
And then there is the final frontier of mothering...ourselves. How do we parent and nurture ourselves in ways we were not parented. How do we get out of the blame game and into self realization. How do we love ourselves. Are we good to ourselves. If we were our baby, would we treat ourselves like that?
This is the final and greatest frontier-ourselves. For how we treat ourselves, is how we show others how to mother, father, and treat themselves.
So Happy Mothers Day to yourself and all those around you!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Dance class at Mark Morris for Parkinsons Patients and the little girls!
It was quite funny, the bunch of us, teachers, pshychologists, dentists, university professors, housewives, and assundry participants in the Parkinson class held by Pam ______ on Friday afternoon. We are supposed to be doing a performance for Canada's national, heck inter national parkinson day and an "executive" in charge is coming to see us. We are to carry a ball in on our heads and then do various moves with it. It's funny, like being stuck in kindergarden-ground hog day!
In another section of the studio the real ballerinas, litle 3 year olds are getting ready to TAKE A CLASS!
BUT AHH, AREN'T WE THE CLASS WITH THE FILM CREW?
We are the strange class where people stuggle to make their bodies work, move, smile, in our warm up we practice sessions like "hello', 'over there', 'yes, No", "and you?" to get the facial expressions going. I am starting to cut up.
"Behave or you won't get a star!"
"If you didn't hink you could do this in dance class when you were little, try now!
"We need a tutu!
Everyone is pretty quiet. Not a lot of facial movement with Parkinsons groups.
On the way home I get a ride with Carol and her one year older sister, Judy.
"WE should talk, say something" Carol says.
"Yea, so we don't lool like zombies."
"We already look like zombies" Carol says and we laugh. Yes, the zombies parading down 5th avenue, Ralph Lauren, Tom Ford, the land of the pretty people. Well here we are, the not so pretty perfect people. the second batch of buz light years with some brain parts not generating.
ALL in all, it was fun to laugh and cut up. We are after all, the baby boomers!
Friday, April 26, 2013
A night at Bookcourt, Marian Fontana among others!
"There are more writers here and in vitro babies than anywhere else in the country!" Jordan was speaking of Cobble Hill, The Writers Room, Bookcourt and Ted and Honey's next to the Cobble Hill park for all of the strollers, mothers and nannies. I'd been to Ted and Honeys this morning and the park and tonight was a reading at Bookcourt.
We were showing the video to Tess yesterday and telling Tess to flex, flex, point! Samantha, the nanny was about to leave when she noticed Gigi was pointing her toes too! Samantha told us to look at Gigi. We watched her and clapped for Gigi. It's funny how the girls will watch the other twin. Tess, in particular, will watch Jordan with Gigi. Tess stopped taking the bottle about six weeks ago. And because Jordan is still nursing Gigi, Tess will see her in Jordan's arms.
The eternal battle for equality has begun.
Who's getting more of mom's attenion, who is doing what?
I couldn't help but think about LA and when people I knew had a book all the pushing, and publicizing, and pressure, pressure they put into their book debut. "I reached number 1 on the LA Times Bestseller list and this is how I did it", Mark Z would brag at the class on marketing yourself to the "biz" would tell us. IN LA everything is about bragging, bragging, bragging andbeing in withthe right people. One's connection to certain important people is trested like a scared trophy not to be given out lest you somehow "mess up" their connection by not being cool enough. In LA you aresupposed to be cool enough to know how to dress without being told what the code is.
But here we were sitting in Bookcourt, a bunch of shy people waiting for the reading to start and I began to chat to the woman next to me. Her name was Sarah, and the topic came up that I was from LA. She said "people are really friendly there" and then she proceeded to tell me how she'd come to LA many years ago and people were so friendly, "they just start talking to you" she said.
"People aren't as friendly here" she added.
"They're just shy" I said. For while people don't open up as fast, they are very generous and inclusive when they do. They bond in tight knit groups and don't try to control access to people.
So I stayed for two of the readings, Jennifer Cody Epstein and Marian Fontana. Jennifer was reading from The Gods of Heavenly Punishment - a novel she wrote set in Japan where she'd lived for 5 years. I tried to follow her story, but lagged a bit until the second part of her reading. It was a serious piece of work and harder to get into than humor. Next came Marian Fontana, a funny, open writer who brings you in in the first few sentences. Saarah had said she imagined most people were there for "Marian". "I think she's doing another memoir."
I had to run because dinner guests were at our place and my back was killing me. But I would have liked to have stayed for two more readers. It is a very nice bookstore and both readers mentioned how they went to the "Writers Room" and appreciated "Bookcourt!"
Jordan took a video of Tess doing a little "number" in her monkey chair. She'll sit in the chair and thump her leg, and thump and thump. But she has a rhythm and it's flex, flex, point! She smiles and stretches out her legs, points her toes and puts her whole body into it. We were showing the video to Tess yesterday and telling Tess to flex, flex, point! Samantha, the nanny was about to leave when she noticed Gigi was pointing her toes too! Samantha told us to look at Gigi. We watched her and clapped for Gigi. It's funny how the girls will watch the other twin. Tess, in particular, will watch Jordan with Gigi. Tess stopped taking the bottle about six weeks ago. And because Jordan is still nursing Gigi, Tess will see her in Jordan's arms.
The eternal battle for equality has begun.
Who's getting more of mom's attenion, who is doing what?
A Sad Week for Parents!
One never wants one's children to have pain. That is just a fact of life. We want all the magic, joy, and hope of the early years. As spring peeks in and out of Cobble Hill, as new parents emerge daily to the park to show off their new babies, I must say that this week has made me sad.
I find no happiness in the pain or sadness of others-all the people, the young children who were hurt in the bombing in Boston, the two bombers, their family back in Chechnya, the police officer who was killed and his family, the family of the 8 year old, the mother who's two sons both lost a leg. The reprecussions of the sadness can go on and on.
I find no happiness in the pain or sadness of others-all the people, the young children who were hurt in the bombing in Boston, the two bombers, their family back in Chechnya, the police officer who was killed and his family, the family of the 8 year old, the mother who's two sons both lost a leg. The reprecussions of the sadness can go on and on.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Flex, flex point and my own little bed!
Jordan took a video of Tess doing a little "number" in her monkey chair. She'll sit in the chair and thump her leg, and thump and thump. But she has a rhythm and it's flex, flex, point! She smiles and stretches out her legs, points her toes and puts her whole body into it.
We were showing the video to Tess yesterday and telling Tess to flex, flex, point! Marie, the nanny was about to leave when she noticed Gigi was pointing her toes too! Marie told us to look at Gigi. We watched her and clapped for Gigi. It's funny how the girls will watch the other twin. Tess, in particular, will watch Jordan with Gigi. Tess stopped taking the bottle about six weeks ago. And because Jordan is still nursing Gigi, Tess will see her in Jordan's arms.
The eternal battle for equality has begun.
Who's getting more of mom's attenion, who is doing what?
Sunday, April 14, 2013
The Twins Go Out in the World!
The last two days were cold, but today was better. We took the twins down to the pier today, it was windy, but not bad in the sun. They really love it when they get out in the world. They just look around. Even in the winter time when they were taken out, they were so covered up and then the stroller top was often pulled down, so they really didn't see anything. Today at the Cobble Hill Park Gigi and Tess saw kids and we met another set of twins, 8 1/2 months old. All the new parents are checking one another out. Its like everybody's discovered a whole new part of the world-parents!
The mother of twins said that her "milk dried up at 4 months" when she went back to work.I asked her if she read the article in the New York Magazine about the "feminist housewife". She shook her head no, and really, what did it matter?
Jordan was saying when we talked about it that women around the world have always worked, its just the "upper middle class" woman now is talking about staying at home.
The debates will never end for women are eternally divided within their working self and their mothering self, that is I believe, as long as work is seen as something separate from mothering. Women's definition of work and men's is different I believe. Men can go at something 150% for ever. They are a rocket going into the sky. Women are a circle that brings life into it. Their power is their relationships and their family. They multi-task easily. One hand is holding a bottle, another hand is feeding a two year old, another hand is talking on the telephone. SOmetimes its hard for them to "single" task.
The mother of twins said that her "milk dried up at 4 months" when she went back to work.I asked her if she read the article in the New York Magazine about the "feminist housewife". She shook her head no, and really, what did it matter?
Jordan was saying when we talked about it that women around the world have always worked, its just the "upper middle class" woman now is talking about staying at home.
The debates will never end for women are eternally divided within their working self and their mothering self, that is I believe, as long as work is seen as something separate from mothering. Women's definition of work and men's is different I believe. Men can go at something 150% for ever. They are a rocket going into the sky. Women are a circle that brings life into it. Their power is their relationships and their family. They multi-task easily. One hand is holding a bottle, another hand is feeding a two year old, another hand is talking on the telephone. SOmetimes its hard for them to "single" task.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
It's 80 degrees and everybody's popping out of their seams!
I feel as if I've escaped a terrible cold. Everybody is out. Sidney said she talked to her neighbors and found out half the block is divorcing! You go to the park and everyone is there-fathers, two year olds, old men in wheel chairs, brand new mothers, nannies, babies, strollers, moms carrying kids on bikes. It's as if WWII just stopped. People are coming out of fox holes! The nanny wanted me to walk with her and the babies to the pier. I thought it was too far, but rather than obscessing about a relationship, I decided to go with her.
I must say once down there, it was great. Theresa is from Jamaica and she loves the water and beach. We sat on a bench, nursed the babies, and just took in the warm air and water. Again, love is in the air! The results of previous love-trysts was pregnant women. But now the babies were taking in the warm air and new sights. They were without the Zero down 40 and without socks! They were delighted. On the way back we said hello to young parents and their daughter "bella" who was dressed up in an outfit and ribbon on her head-she too was 5 months. While the father proudly held her Gigi squealed with delight! SHe just squealed while Tess smiled.
When we got back we sat on the stoop in Cobble Hill and took in the sights. It made me remember summers coming as a child, vacations, and the release from school and winter.
Love is in the air!
I must say once down there, it was great. Theresa is from Jamaica and she loves the water and beach. We sat on a bench, nursed the babies, and just took in the warm air and water. Again, love is in the air! The results of previous love-trysts was pregnant women. But now the babies were taking in the warm air and new sights. They were without the Zero down 40 and without socks! They were delighted. On the way back we said hello to young parents and their daughter "bella" who was dressed up in an outfit and ribbon on her head-she too was 5 months. While the father proudly held her Gigi squealed with delight! SHe just squealed while Tess smiled.
When we got back we sat on the stoop in Cobble Hill and took in the sights. It made me remember summers coming as a child, vacations, and the release from school and winter.
Love is in the air!
Monday, April 8, 2013
2013-the confusing era we live in with regards to families, money, and children!!!!!
It was 4 of us, all women for dinner on Saturday. Jordan, myself, Sidney, and Beth, an old friend of Jocelyn's from Columbia. Beth was a professional photographer and a fine art photographer. Sidney is a portrait photographer. Both women have had careers and are in their forties. Beth is married with a young child and her husband has several children from another marriage. Sidney has two children and is divorced and is living with someone.
The topic was of how one partners. Today, as the women are working, the til' death due us part and its "ours" seems to be gone, especially if one is older when one gets married. Beth had a pre-nup to protect her assets from her husband, who she felt wasn't good with money. As she told us her situation it became clear that they were married but not committed. When you are watching and calculating everything its hard for love to grow or trust. With my friends who got divorced, the situation tended to be that the women held on to their money and lived with a man, but didn't marry him. Burned me once, not again!
Jordan was saying that more and more women are moving up in the work force and white males (older) are the most unemployed group. "Women adjust" Jordan said, "and they can multi task and will just get a job."
A lot of people in Cobble Hill have "inherited money" and a number of the fathers are home with their wives. It's funny when you see them at PS29 with their wives to pick up the children. Their role is hard to define, and they seem a bit out of place. One couple who has just finished a 3 year restoration on a brownstone and put in an elevator, said they needed to sell it-money, but they did not have that much money!
Jordan's friend Alice, who is an attorney in San Francisco, used to be both resentful and jealous of her husband who stayed at home (he was an older white male without a job). He would be arranging play dates and going to the kids activities at school, making their lunches, and Alice would be stuck in a corporate job she didn't like.
But marriages or relationships are seldom equal. Most of the time one will have the high powered job and the other one was the "pick me up person". It doesn't matter if its the woman or the man, the opportunity to keep things "unequal" is always there. But it never works if one uses their power unfairly over their partner. You are a team or you are not a team, and if not, why not?
If we hold back our love, our trust, our fairness, the relationship will always be fighting for equality. If you see a red flag, like your lover, etc., is not good with money, it doesn't clear up with marriage. It just goes deeper. Nor can we ever change the other person, just ourself.
The topic was of how one partners. Today, as the women are working, the til' death due us part and its "ours" seems to be gone, especially if one is older when one gets married. Beth had a pre-nup to protect her assets from her husband, who she felt wasn't good with money. As she told us her situation it became clear that they were married but not committed. When you are watching and calculating everything its hard for love to grow or trust. With my friends who got divorced, the situation tended to be that the women held on to their money and lived with a man, but didn't marry him. Burned me once, not again!
Jordan was saying that more and more women are moving up in the work force and white males (older) are the most unemployed group. "Women adjust" Jordan said, "and they can multi task and will just get a job."
A lot of people in Cobble Hill have "inherited money" and a number of the fathers are home with their wives. It's funny when you see them at PS29 with their wives to pick up the children. Their role is hard to define, and they seem a bit out of place. One couple who has just finished a 3 year restoration on a brownstone and put in an elevator, said they needed to sell it-money, but they did not have that much money!
Jordan's friend Alice, who is an attorney in San Francisco, used to be both resentful and jealous of her husband who stayed at home (he was an older white male without a job). He would be arranging play dates and going to the kids activities at school, making their lunches, and Alice would be stuck in a corporate job she didn't like.
But marriages or relationships are seldom equal. Most of the time one will have the high powered job and the other one was the "pick me up person". It doesn't matter if its the woman or the man, the opportunity to keep things "unequal" is always there. But it never works if one uses their power unfairly over their partner. You are a team or you are not a team, and if not, why not?
If we hold back our love, our trust, our fairness, the relationship will always be fighting for equality. If you see a red flag, like your lover, etc., is not good with money, it doesn't clear up with marriage. It just goes deeper. Nor can we ever change the other person, just ourself.
Refresh and renew-but apartments are still too much!
The babies are doing well, maybe I spoke too soon. We had them on a new sleep method, the cry it out method, but this morning Tess is crying more than she's sleeping. It's torturous. Jordan said that Tess cried last night during the night for 30 minutes and when she picked her up she was quiet.
"I know she's testing me" Jordan said.
The spring seems to be in the air more today than yesterday. On Saturday all the new babies were at the park with their parents who seemed excited to take in the new world. Tess and Gigi met a 5 month old boy who was the same age as them at the park. His mom and dad seemed excited to find a friend! Ha, the two girls will probably gang up on him.
In keeping with the renewal of spring I have decided its time to reinvent and renew. I am going to look at everything I'm doing and taking and how I can cleanse, simplify and de-toxify. For Parkinsons I take certain medications, but even those I am going to look at again. My body simply can't take all of the medication they are giving me. And it does have side effects. I was rereading Suzanne Sommers book Knockout again. I definitely am going to take gluthahione again.
"I know she's testing me" Jordan said.
The spring seems to be in the air more today than yesterday. On Saturday all the new babies were at the park with their parents who seemed excited to take in the new world. Tess and Gigi met a 5 month old boy who was the same age as them at the park. His mom and dad seemed excited to find a friend! Ha, the two girls will probably gang up on him.
In keeping with the renewal of spring I have decided its time to reinvent and renew. I am going to look at everything I'm doing and taking and how I can cleanse, simplify and de-toxify. For Parkinsons I take certain medications, but even those I am going to look at again. My body simply can't take all of the medication they are giving me. And it does have side effects. I was rereading Suzanne Sommers book Knockout again. I definitely am going to take gluthahione again.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
I wonder if Michael J. Fox had this test!
Yesterday I had a five hour test to measure my carba-dopa levels in NY. I was not supposed to have any medication after midnight-something I've never done since I found out I had Parkinson's. (There is no definitive test for it.) Because I'd had amnesia the NY doctor decided I should have this test to measure my carba-dopa levels. Jordan and I took a car service in from Brooklyn, and went to Lennox Hill Radiology. It was a shock to see how small and crowded the waiting room, the changing room, everything was compared to UCLA and Cedars-Sinai. There is just no comparison-really. Admittedly this was a radiology outpatient service, but still, no comparison.
Jordan was very good in getting them organized. Essentially she told them that I'd never done this before (gone without my medication), and that I couldn't just sit in the waiting room for 4 hours, I had to be observed. Shawna, the technician who was doing the test was really sweet and she worked it out that I could go to one of the rooms with a reclining chair and that I would be observed.
One of the rooms, off a very narrow hallway, turned out to be a technicians room with screens and a couple of rooms that basically just fit a reclining chair, and a big door that closed between you and the technician. I was essentially squeezed into this teeny room and the door was shut! I felt claustrophobic.
So what I did was to go to the bathroom every half an hour and I'd meet people I'd talk to in the hallway. There was Sylvia, a teacher in the city in her forties who was getting a breast exam and who I learned had her 100 year old grandmother living with her!
Then there was Ricky, 60, who was with his mother, Carol, aged 87, who'd raised Ricky and his 2 brothers as a single parent. She lived in the East 70's in a rent controlled apartment for 46 years by herself.
"She goes up and down 4 flights of stairs every day by herself. She was wearing half nylons and she slipped on the parquet floor and now she needs Xrays" Ricky told Sylvia and myself as Carol undressed in this teeny, teeny half closet off the narrow hallway.
We sat there talking for about an hour waiting, each one of us, for various reasons. It turned out we'd all been raised Catholic. Ricky was quite a talker.
"I went down to Florida, but came back to help mom. When I was a kid you'd never do 'somethin' without your mother finding out about it. All the other mothers would watch our for you and tell your mom. But I didn't raised my kids in the city, I went out of the city up to the mountains."
Carol comes out in her gown."I don't like not wearing my clothes."
Ricky"It's just for the test mom!"
"I know" Carol answers as she paddles down the hallway.
I tell them I'm here with my daughter who has twins. Everything seems very strange to me in NY, but I don't get into that.
"I can't stay with my grandkids more than 3 days, when I'm with their mother. If it was just me, they listen to me. But with their mother, they don't listen. I can't do it. We used to bend down so my mother could hit us!"
And on and on we talk until they go and its time for my test. It's now 1:30, and I've been at this place since 9am. I am to lay on this narrow hard surface and keep my head still for 32 minutes. I think I can do it but then once the test starts my legs are shaking. I wonder how I will make it. I guess I do have "Parkinsons" I think. Too bad, maybe the NY doctor, who had some questions about my PD had been right. But now with my legs shaking I had to rethink the whole thing. Too bad. But the good news was I made it through the test and I made it back to Brooklyn.
Jordan was very good in getting them organized. Essentially she told them that I'd never done this before (gone without my medication), and that I couldn't just sit in the waiting room for 4 hours, I had to be observed. Shawna, the technician who was doing the test was really sweet and she worked it out that I could go to one of the rooms with a reclining chair and that I would be observed.
One of the rooms, off a very narrow hallway, turned out to be a technicians room with screens and a couple of rooms that basically just fit a reclining chair, and a big door that closed between you and the technician. I was essentially squeezed into this teeny room and the door was shut! I felt claustrophobic.
So what I did was to go to the bathroom every half an hour and I'd meet people I'd talk to in the hallway. There was Sylvia, a teacher in the city in her forties who was getting a breast exam and who I learned had her 100 year old grandmother living with her!
Then there was Ricky, 60, who was with his mother, Carol, aged 87, who'd raised Ricky and his 2 brothers as a single parent. She lived in the East 70's in a rent controlled apartment for 46 years by herself.
"She goes up and down 4 flights of stairs every day by herself. She was wearing half nylons and she slipped on the parquet floor and now she needs Xrays" Ricky told Sylvia and myself as Carol undressed in this teeny, teeny half closet off the narrow hallway.
We sat there talking for about an hour waiting, each one of us, for various reasons. It turned out we'd all been raised Catholic. Ricky was quite a talker.
"I went down to Florida, but came back to help mom. When I was a kid you'd never do 'somethin' without your mother finding out about it. All the other mothers would watch our for you and tell your mom. But I didn't raised my kids in the city, I went out of the city up to the mountains."
Carol comes out in her gown."I don't like not wearing my clothes."
Ricky"It's just for the test mom!"
"I know" Carol answers as she paddles down the hallway.
I tell them I'm here with my daughter who has twins. Everything seems very strange to me in NY, but I don't get into that.
"I can't stay with my grandkids more than 3 days, when I'm with their mother. If it was just me, they listen to me. But with their mother, they don't listen. I can't do it. We used to bend down so my mother could hit us!"
And on and on we talk until they go and its time for my test. It's now 1:30, and I've been at this place since 9am. I am to lay on this narrow hard surface and keep my head still for 32 minutes. I think I can do it but then once the test starts my legs are shaking. I wonder how I will make it. I guess I do have "Parkinsons" I think. Too bad, maybe the NY doctor, who had some questions about my PD had been right. But now with my legs shaking I had to rethink the whole thing. Too bad. But the good news was I made it through the test and I made it back to Brooklyn.
Monday, April 1, 2013
April , Renewal and getting a night time baby nurse!!!
The night time is disasterous-the girls are not sleeping. Forget the books, nobodies getting any sleep at all! Tess and Gigi take turns keeping Jordan and me up all night! They are out of their car seats, thank God. But they don't fit into the swaddles any more that restrict their arms and legs from moving. Last night we got them down, but then they were up from 3am to 6 am. One or the other is crying, and Jordan puts them in bed with her which gets exhausting.
She's been reading all the baby books on sleep-Healthy babies, Happy Sleep; the cry method, the no cry method.
All the logic goes out the window when you want sleep. So tonight the night time baby nurse, Christine, who is from the Philipines, is coming. Hopefully, Jordan will get some sleep. I am going to a friends.
Young parents get so desperate around this stuff, and with good reason. The babies need feeding every 3 and 1/2 hours. They are "on" you. The new parents spend money on anything that works-sound machines, books, baby nurses, wedges for the crib, swaddles, etc. They are such a hungry market-billions can be made off of them.
Jordan and were laughing at how we've become this return team-the other day we bought an antique rocker, I got it home and saw it was broken in the back where you'd sit. That was the end of the rocker-took it back. I bought a sweeper-it didn't clean very well and the cord wouldn't retract-bam, I took it back.
Jordan wants to get a new couch, and soon we'll need better cribs. But she wants everything organic, so the costs shoot up. Organic cribs are around $1000 -not sure if that includes the mattress. And on and on.
The help and equipment is running over $1000 a week. The money is flying out the door. Well, I'm off to the neighbors!
She's been reading all the baby books on sleep-Healthy babies, Happy Sleep; the cry method, the no cry method.
All the logic goes out the window when you want sleep. So tonight the night time baby nurse, Christine, who is from the Philipines, is coming. Hopefully, Jordan will get some sleep. I am going to a friends.
Young parents get so desperate around this stuff, and with good reason. The babies need feeding every 3 and 1/2 hours. They are "on" you. The new parents spend money on anything that works-sound machines, books, baby nurses, wedges for the crib, swaddles, etc. They are such a hungry market-billions can be made off of them.
Jordan and were laughing at how we've become this return team-the other day we bought an antique rocker, I got it home and saw it was broken in the back where you'd sit. That was the end of the rocker-took it back. I bought a sweeper-it didn't clean very well and the cord wouldn't retract-bam, I took it back.
Jordan wants to get a new couch, and soon we'll need better cribs. But she wants everything organic, so the costs shoot up. Organic cribs are around $1000 -not sure if that includes the mattress. And on and on.
The help and equipment is running over $1000 a week. The money is flying out the door. Well, I'm off to the neighbors!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Gloria Steinem and the modern Woman-forever Divided
It seems there is no end to the modern woman's frustration! I remember when I had my youngest in the early seventies and how guilty I felt about being a mother. Gloria Steinem was speaking across the street and I went over and heard her. I felt so guilty that I never wanted to say I was a mother-no, I was a poet, a painter, a writer, but not a mother.
Now I look at my daughter and her friends and they are forever divided-there is not enough of them for everything-their work, their lovers, their homes, their bodies, and above all their children!
Never enough, never enough of you anywhere. WHat the women's movement did was enable us to enter the MEN'S DEFINITION OF WORK! I am going to say that again, the men's definition of work and power.
It is singular, and like the penis, thrust out and up. It is the energy that will gain hundreds of millions of dollars for oneself on Wall St., that will battle to the death, that will go to the moon, that will blow up a town. It is centered on a singular drive. Many men cannot multi-task. But women, they are a circle, their bodies produce babies and our future. When you have children you cannot just think about yourself. You are divided, there is you and there is your baby. There is your family and the family comes first. There is your family and your work.
There is your work and your family. Jordan is now discovering the multiple pulls. You hire a nanny, she is in effect the mother to the children while you are gone. Nannies are asking for a thousand a week in Cobble Hill, without college, etc. It means you have to be earning a lot, and that nanny will in effect be representing you. It means that at birthday parties, at school, with other parents, teachers, etc., you take the man's position and the nanny takes yours. With parents with two high powered careers, the children don't really have a parent at home unless they bring in one's mother like Michele Obama to "nanny" the children.
But what about women's definition of power, is it more circular. Is work supposed to be what men say it is, or can it be community based, group based, and shared. Surely when we operate as a whole we do better than when we are singular.
A house on a street with lots of kids is better than a lonely house on the hill. To have friends and community is better than being all alone.
To have a balance between work and home is better than just doing work. It's all about balance-the ying and the yang.
Now I look at my daughter and her friends and they are forever divided-there is not enough of them for everything-their work, their lovers, their homes, their bodies, and above all their children!
Never enough, never enough of you anywhere. WHat the women's movement did was enable us to enter the MEN'S DEFINITION OF WORK! I am going to say that again, the men's definition of work and power.
It is singular, and like the penis, thrust out and up. It is the energy that will gain hundreds of millions of dollars for oneself on Wall St., that will battle to the death, that will go to the moon, that will blow up a town. It is centered on a singular drive. Many men cannot multi-task. But women, they are a circle, their bodies produce babies and our future. When you have children you cannot just think about yourself. You are divided, there is you and there is your baby. There is your family and the family comes first. There is your family and your work.
There is your work and your family. Jordan is now discovering the multiple pulls. You hire a nanny, she is in effect the mother to the children while you are gone. Nannies are asking for a thousand a week in Cobble Hill, without college, etc. It means you have to be earning a lot, and that nanny will in effect be representing you. It means that at birthday parties, at school, with other parents, teachers, etc., you take the man's position and the nanny takes yours. With parents with two high powered careers, the children don't really have a parent at home unless they bring in one's mother like Michele Obama to "nanny" the children.
But what about women's definition of power, is it more circular. Is work supposed to be what men say it is, or can it be community based, group based, and shared. Surely when we operate as a whole we do better than when we are singular.
A house on a street with lots of kids is better than a lonely house on the hill. To have friends and community is better than being all alone.
To have a balance between work and home is better than just doing work. It's all about balance-the ying and the yang.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The money is pouring out!
Sidney is up in Vermont giving a talk about her artistic work, I got a test today for my cognitive skills (after my amnesia), and tonight Jordan has another baby nurse to help the girls go to sleep!
The money is flowing out madly. The girls were fussy all day, alternately happy and crying. But tonight, tonight, they are supposed to go into their own little beds!
It was scary getting a test on my cognitive ability! I hate tests, particularly if there might be something wrong with me. You had to remember shapes, sizes, words being added and subtracted really quickly, etc. It reminds me of when my eldest would play those video games when he was young. He was really fast taping on the games, moving whatever it was back and forth. My hand started to stiffen, I'd forgotten my glasses, (actually they were in my coat pocket), and it was hard to see the numbers on the keyboard but they told me that I was in the 100% percentile of normal for my age!
So, I guess its not dementia!
Meanwhile the girls saw their first television show-Barney on Itunes. They both looked up at it. They are almost 5 months and frustrated-they want to sit up, they want to turn over, they want to stand and stand and stand. Their energy is endless.
So now I'm going over to Sidneys while Jordan stays here with the baby nurse and they work at getting the girls to sleep in their cribs.
Good night and swet dreams!
The money is flowing out madly. The girls were fussy all day, alternately happy and crying. But tonight, tonight, they are supposed to go into their own little beds!
It was scary getting a test on my cognitive ability! I hate tests, particularly if there might be something wrong with me. You had to remember shapes, sizes, words being added and subtracted really quickly, etc. It reminds me of when my eldest would play those video games when he was young. He was really fast taping on the games, moving whatever it was back and forth. My hand started to stiffen, I'd forgotten my glasses, (actually they were in my coat pocket), and it was hard to see the numbers on the keyboard but they told me that I was in the 100% percentile of normal for my age!
So, I guess its not dementia!
Meanwhile the girls saw their first television show-Barney on Itunes. They both looked up at it. They are almost 5 months and frustrated-they want to sit up, they want to turn over, they want to stand and stand and stand. Their energy is endless.
So now I'm going over to Sidneys while Jordan stays here with the baby nurse and they work at getting the girls to sleep in their cribs.
Good night and swet dreams!
PS 29, The Invisible Dog, and Ohhh a baby crying!-
I was invited by Sidney to a function, a fund raising function for PS 29 at the Invisible Dog. This is one of those local neighborhood schools that the children go to and the fund raiser was being held at a local art gallery. I didn't get there until 9pm because we were putting down the babies. Almost everyone was dressed in NY black, the music was blaring, the room really hot, and the drinks were flowing. It was hard to talk to one another without screaming. I saw Nan, and her advertising husband Brian for a minute. They are a very lively young couple, very bright, and Nan had on her Wizard of Oz red plastic shoes with an otherwise black outfit. Most of the women were dressed in black and the drinks were flowing. I think I was the only grandmother there! I stayed for a few minutes, chatted a little, saw Sidney, who had her hair up and then came back. I couldn't help but think about my ex and our days of these sorts of parties. Pregnancy, childbirth, schools, houses, soccer games-trying to raise a family and conquer the world. I couldn't help but wonder what time might bring-who would have to go into rehab, who would sleep with someone else, who would split up, and yes, who might die. At this stage no one thinks of death except maybe one's parents are not in the best of shape. Since I had no obligation to stay, and wouldn't be missed, I was free to go. I'd been out, had a nice walk, and went back to the house. We went to bed around 11 pm but I couldn't sleep.
Ohh my gosh. I think my head will explode. I didn't sleep well last night and then to top it off the babies were crying and crying, especially Tess, who just stopped after an hour. I hate it!
Ohh my gosh. I think my head will explode. I didn't sleep well last night and then to top it off the babies were crying and crying, especially Tess, who just stopped after an hour. I hate it!
Monday, March 18, 2013
The No Cry Sleep Solution-gone!
Baby Nurse hired for crying twins who don't sleep!
They cried for 13 minutes last night when we put them in their cribs. Jordan couldn't stand it and went and got both of them and put them in bed with her for the night.
The car seats are out as sleeping tools. Tess fell out of hers on the floor yesterday. She wasn't hurt, but the latest was having the car seats in the crib. After last night fiasco of just putting them in their cribs, Jordan announced that she's hired a baby nurse who specializes in getting them to sleep.
"Collin at work convinced me to hire a nurse-for 3 nights to get them to sleep" Jordan told me.
Their cries were piercing last night, especially Gigi who is usually so happy and trusting. So the books, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins is in and the No Cry Sleep SOlution is out!
C'est la vie, c'est la guere!
They cried for 13 minutes last night when we put them in their cribs. Jordan couldn't stand it and went and got both of them and put them in bed with her for the night.
The car seats are out as sleeping tools. Tess fell out of hers on the floor yesterday. She wasn't hurt, but the latest was having the car seats in the crib. After last night fiasco of just putting them in their cribs, Jordan announced that she's hired a baby nurse who specializes in getting them to sleep.
"Collin at work convinced me to hire a nurse-for 3 nights to get them to sleep" Jordan told me.
Their cries were piercing last night, especially Gigi who is usually so happy and trusting. So the books, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins is in and the No Cry Sleep SOlution is out!
C'est la vie, c'est la guere!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Bored babies, crying oma, and I hate lofts!
It has been awhile since I blogged. I was in the hospital with amnesia. There are two days I completely blocked out! When I got to the hospital I was apparently "begging my daughter not to leave me, "don't leave me behind", I apparently kept saying to her. None of this I remember. "I even said Bush was president, said it was January, and then I said 'oh that's terrible!"
Apparently by the next day I was begging my daughter not to take me home even though I was staying with 3 other people in a room and I had a catheter in me! I remembered being there the next day, but had no memory at all of the hospital, the doctor I'd seen, or the day before! But I was smart enough to pass the test the doctors had given me, so they let me go and just told me not to take the Comtan for Parkinsons!
It had obviously become overwhelming to me and I was exhausted! We are essentially in one room, the loft, which I would never be in with more than 1 person, myself. You have no privacy, the girls are fretting and crying half the day and night, I'm in one room with a baby nurse who doesn't want to do anything except take care of the babies! It's freezing outside, I haven't lived on the East coast since the seventies. In California we drive to the snow, we don't live in it. I was missing the sun, the warm air, the crazy openness of California, I wanted the girls outside in the sunshine, the warm air, everything. Okay so I'd forgotten about the vapidness and neurosis of LA! It was ugly and depressing to me in NY and I didn't think people has such fabulous lives. They seemed to me to be stuck in an old world system where you didn't expect much. It felt like the 19th century! People were grateful for just an apartment!
Maybe I was trying to find a way back to California-Amnesia! Also what was I going back to? I'd broken up with my long term partner, I'd been staying with a friend at her loft downtown. She's lovely and generous and gone a lot of the time, but I had a hard time. You had to get on the 10 and get into a 5 lane freeway to go anywhere. There was nothing around the gaited community except other warehouses, homeless, and ugly buildings. I missed the trees and quiet streets of Sherman Oaks. I missed how easy it was to drive around there. I realized and saw what a suburbanite I really was.
The girls were in a four month crisis-tired of their little bouncy chairs, kicking like crazy, fretting, smiling, laughing. They were becoming human beings wanting to get up and get out. I was lonely and exhausted, in strange surroundings, living out of suitcase for 4 1/2 months. I was only comfortable in the same ugly pair of shoes every day. My back was hurting, I missed the doctors I had in LA, my yoga teacher, my friends. I was restless too-realizing my diminishing energy as they were getting theirs. Now its 11:30 and I am going to my futon! Good night! God bless!
Apparently by the next day I was begging my daughter not to take me home even though I was staying with 3 other people in a room and I had a catheter in me! I remembered being there the next day, but had no memory at all of the hospital, the doctor I'd seen, or the day before! But I was smart enough to pass the test the doctors had given me, so they let me go and just told me not to take the Comtan for Parkinsons!
It had obviously become overwhelming to me and I was exhausted! We are essentially in one room, the loft, which I would never be in with more than 1 person, myself. You have no privacy, the girls are fretting and crying half the day and night, I'm in one room with a baby nurse who doesn't want to do anything except take care of the babies! It's freezing outside, I haven't lived on the East coast since the seventies. In California we drive to the snow, we don't live in it. I was missing the sun, the warm air, the crazy openness of California, I wanted the girls outside in the sunshine, the warm air, everything. Okay so I'd forgotten about the vapidness and neurosis of LA! It was ugly and depressing to me in NY and I didn't think people has such fabulous lives. They seemed to me to be stuck in an old world system where you didn't expect much. It felt like the 19th century! People were grateful for just an apartment!
Maybe I was trying to find a way back to California-Amnesia! Also what was I going back to? I'd broken up with my long term partner, I'd been staying with a friend at her loft downtown. She's lovely and generous and gone a lot of the time, but I had a hard time. You had to get on the 10 and get into a 5 lane freeway to go anywhere. There was nothing around the gaited community except other warehouses, homeless, and ugly buildings. I missed the trees and quiet streets of Sherman Oaks. I missed how easy it was to drive around there. I realized and saw what a suburbanite I really was.
The girls were in a four month crisis-tired of their little bouncy chairs, kicking like crazy, fretting, smiling, laughing. They were becoming human beings wanting to get up and get out. I was lonely and exhausted, in strange surroundings, living out of suitcase for 4 1/2 months. I was only comfortable in the same ugly pair of shoes every day. My back was hurting, I missed the doctors I had in LA, my yoga teacher, my friends. I was restless too-realizing my diminishing energy as they were getting theirs. Now its 11:30 and I am going to my futon! Good night! God bless!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Babies, sleeping, crying and trust!!
Oh dear, the twins have not been sleeping. Oh the books on sleep Jordan has-quiet baby, peaceful sleep! Something like that-the debate is whether or not to let them cry. There are those that advocate the let them cry method and those who say letting them cry will break their trust and then they will not be as open. I see the point. Why should you break their trust?
When people say you have to break bad habits it reminds me of a baby nurse who came when they were 3 weeks old and said you shouldn't hold them too much or they would get spoiled. How ridiculous! How totally stupid.
Well, that was the end of that baby nurse. But the problem with twins is that you are ganged up on. One goes down and the other one starts up. Jordan is getting no sleep, jumping up and running to work. It's too much. She can't keep this up or she will be completely depleted. I think we're both depleted. I know I am. I was up last night and I was so out of it today, I could hardly think.
Babies are relentless in their energy. And parents have so many different duties, its hard not to give in here and there.
ANd we are only human after all.
Dierdre went to Peru today with her friend Zia. She made a Tumbler blog for a friend and did such a great job. ANd she is so good with the twins. I pray for her safety in Peru. She is volunteering there for 4 months, she'll be back in July. She seems so young and innocent but she is so smart! That's a oma for you!
When people say you have to break bad habits it reminds me of a baby nurse who came when they were 3 weeks old and said you shouldn't hold them too much or they would get spoiled. How ridiculous! How totally stupid.
Well, that was the end of that baby nurse. But the problem with twins is that you are ganged up on. One goes down and the other one starts up. Jordan is getting no sleep, jumping up and running to work. It's too much. She can't keep this up or she will be completely depleted. I think we're both depleted. I know I am. I was up last night and I was so out of it today, I could hardly think.
Babies are relentless in their energy. And parents have so many different duties, its hard not to give in here and there.
ANd we are only human after all.
Dierdre went to Peru today with her friend Zia. She made a Tumbler blog for a friend and did such a great job. ANd she is so good with the twins. I pray for her safety in Peru. She is volunteering there for 4 months, she'll be back in July. She seems so young and innocent but she is so smart! That's a oma for you!
Friday, March 1, 2013
Family Inheritance and the Fight for Power!
It seems to come with the territory, parents dyings, estates being left, one sibling suing another sibling, or dominating and unfairly treating others. Jordan was telling about her latest family drama over the estate. The estate should be settled but her brothers are angling for a fight on the estate. Of course they are investment brokers with plenty of money-its just ego with them. But Jordan needs the money. Years ago I would have said that's ridiculous, but it seems more the norm than anything else these days. Our own family had a fight that wound up in a lawsuit and many hurt feelings. Another friend's sister sued her and her brother over a house in Seacliff, San Francisco on the beach.
It's almost like the worst traits of the parents dive into one or two of the siblings and they re-inact the family drama. It's often done in a most vicious and controlling way, but the sibling doing it feels very self righteous in their behavior.
And then the family ruptures, old wounds are brought up, and siblings stop speaking to one another for years. Whatever issues the parents had around money, wealth, generosity are re-inacted by the children, often showing up after death. The sibling often assumes one parents role, in my case our father was a tightwad and very controlling around money. He wanted me to share my wedding dress, which I had made, with my sister who was supposed to get married a few months later. My father would charge me to ride with him to the university where he taught, and he was also a slum landlord forcing us to "work" on the properties weekends, etc. without any warning. Money was impossible for him to spend or enjoy. He saved everything-he'd buy his clothes at Salvation Army and my mom at Saks. It was not pretty what happened in our family when he died, and grudges still float around.
The cleaner and clearer the parents relationship to money, the better transition the children will have.
After all, who wants these grudges?
It's almost like the worst traits of the parents dive into one or two of the siblings and they re-inact the family drama. It's often done in a most vicious and controlling way, but the sibling doing it feels very self righteous in their behavior.
And then the family ruptures, old wounds are brought up, and siblings stop speaking to one another for years. Whatever issues the parents had around money, wealth, generosity are re-inacted by the children, often showing up after death. The sibling often assumes one parents role, in my case our father was a tightwad and very controlling around money. He wanted me to share my wedding dress, which I had made, with my sister who was supposed to get married a few months later. My father would charge me to ride with him to the university where he taught, and he was also a slum landlord forcing us to "work" on the properties weekends, etc. without any warning. Money was impossible for him to spend or enjoy. He saved everything-he'd buy his clothes at Salvation Army and my mom at Saks. It was not pretty what happened in our family when he died, and grudges still float around.
The cleaner and clearer the parents relationship to money, the better transition the children will have.
After all, who wants these grudges?
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Today my grand-daughter, Deidre, and her friend Zia, who is going to school at Pratt, took Tess out for a walk. They are all full of spit fire and opinions and Jordan went over how they were to take Tess down the stairs twenty times. Tess has been very quiet and good, just "watching" the girls. And of course they did great, and Tess was just fine, actually, more than happy. It's funny the young and the "smart" of it all. Each age has their qualities. The little want to get big, and the big want to get bigger, and the old want to be young!
As if we can defy death. A friend of mine just told me that her son and his wife and grandson are moving up to the bay area. She said she is not going to follow them.
"Ii have to live my own life" she said. "I can't just move up to the baby area. Besides, it's cold up there. I like the sun, I like the warmth."
That's the choice for all of us, isn't it? How do we live our own lives? What is our process of staying connected and yet independent? Well, I don't think its Facebook or Twitter or Tumbler. It's life, living, breathing, connected life. Yet how we do that is the question, the big question.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
It's Raining! Hospitals and Parkinsons
Is this funny. My 18 year old grand daughter is here with her 4 month old cousins, Gigi and Tess. She's on her way to volunteer in Peru and I watched her with her two little cousins today. She was so good, it blew me away. I could see her father and her mother in her and I could see how fast and good she was. It made me cry because her father died four years ago. I felt him in her in a different way than I had before. Here was my beautiful grand daughter going off to Peru on her own! Wow. Wow. WOw.
I had some sort of a reaction to my Parkinson medication I took last night-I do have Parkinsons and I veer between the holistic approach and the medical approach. But I had terrible dyskonesia all night, etc. We wound up going to the emergency room at Cornell. I have no neurologist here in NY and at Cornell they would not let me see a neurologist, nor would they say anything about the medication I took. They gave me a sheet and told me to make an appointment at the clinic. The clinic would not anyone until April.
Here you are in this big city that is buildings and highways, and its scary. I didn't want to go to the hospital of Long Island College because its something out of the fifties. I saw all of these old scared people wobbling in and out of the hospital.. This is where Gigi and Tess were born, the maternity ward, a place of happiness. But a lot of hospitals is sadness and loss. I never felt so pointless as I did coming back from Cornell. Basically they wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole. The attending physician said "they could have criminal charges waged against them."
But in the end our bodies are human. I guess as a friend said, I need to pray and meditate. Pray for my soul and everyone else's, pray for this world, for us all. I have 6 beautiful grand children, two children, and lots of love.
It's funny because the girls seemed to have sensed something went on because when I cam back from the hospital they were crying like crazy and not their cheerful selves. But by tonight they were better.
Good night and god bless.
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