A night at Bookcourt, Marian Fontana among others!

   "There are more writers here and in vitro babies than anywhere else in the country!"  Jordan was speaking of Cobble Hill, The Writers Room, Bookcourt and Ted and Honey's next to the Cobble Hill park for all of the strollers, mothers and nannies.  I'd been to Ted and Honeys this morning and the park and tonight was a reading at Bookcourt.

   I couldn't help but think about LA and when people I knew had a book all the pushing, and publicizing, and pressure, pressure they put into their book debut.  "I reached number 1 on the LA Times Bestseller list and this is how I did it", Mark Z would brag at the class on marketing yourself to the "biz" would tell us.  IN LA everything is about bragging, bragging, bragging andbeing in withthe right people.  One's connection to certain important people is trested like a scared trophy not to be given out lest you somehow "mess up" their connection by not being cool enough.  In LA you aresupposed to be cool enough to know how to dress without being told what the code is.

   But here we were sitting in Bookcourt, a bunch of shy people waiting for the reading to start and I began to chat to the woman next to me.  Her name was Sarah, and the topic came up that I was from LA.  She said "people are really friendly there" and then she proceeded to tell me how she'd come to LA many years ago and people were so friendly, "they just start talking to you" she said.

   "People aren't as friendly here" she added.

   "They're just shy" I said.  For while people don't open up as fast, they are very generous and inclusive when they do.  They bond in tight knit groups and don't try to control access to people.

    So I stayed for two of the readings, Jennifer Cody Epstein and Marian Fontana.  Jennifer was reading from The Gods of Heavenly Punishment - a novel she wrote set in Japan where she'd lived for 5 years.   I tried to follow her story, but lagged a bit until the second part of her reading.  It was a serious piece of work and harder to get into than humor.  Next came  Marian Fontana, a funny, open writer who  brings you in in the first few sentences.  Saarah had said she imagined most people were there for "Marian".  "I think she's doing another memoir."

    I had to run because dinner guests were at our place and my back was killing me.  But I would have liked to have stayed for two more readers.  It is a very nice bookstore and both readers mentioned how they went to the "Writers Room" and appreciated "Bookcourt!"

   Jordan took a video of Tess doing a little "number" in her monkey chair.  She'll sit in the chair and thump her leg, and thump and thump.  But she has a rhythm and it's flex, flex, point! She smiles and stretches out her legs, points her toes and puts her whole body into it.  
   We were showing the video to Tess yesterday and telling Tess to flex, flex, point!  Samantha, the nanny was about to leave when she noticed Gigi was pointing her toes too! Samantha told us to look at Gigi.  We watched her and clapped for Gigi. It's funny how the girls will watch the other twin. Tess, in particular, will watch Jordan with Gigi.  Tess stopped taking the bottle about six weeks ago. And because Jordan is still nursing Gigi, Tess will see her in Jordan's arms.
  The eternal battle for equality has begun.
   Who's getting more of mom's attenion, who is doing what?

A Sad Week for Parents!

   One never wants one's children to have pain.  That is just a fact of life.  We want all the magic, joy, and hope of the early years.  As spring peeks in and out of Cobble Hill, as new parents emerge daily to the park to show off their new babies, I must say that this week has made me sad. 
   I find no happiness in the pain or sadness of others-all the people, the young children who were hurt in the bombing in Boston, the two bombers, their family back in Chechnya, the police officer who was killed and his family, the family of the 8 year old, the mother who's two sons both lost a leg.  The reprecussions of the sadness can go on and on.

Flex, flex point and my own little bed!

 Jordan took a video of Tess doing a little "number" in her monkey chair.  She'll sit in the chair and thump her leg, and thump and thump.  But she has a rhythm and it's flex, flex, point! She smiles and stretches out her legs, points her toes and puts her whole body into it.  

   We were showing the video to Tess yesterday and telling Tess to flex, flex, point!  Marie, the nanny was about to leave when she noticed Gigi was pointing her toes too! Marie told us   to look at Gigi.  We watched her and clapped for Gigi. It's funny how the girls will watch the other twin. Tess, in particular, will watch Jordan with Gigi.  Tess stopped taking the bottle about six weeks ago. And because Jordan is still nursing Gigi, Tess will see her in Jordan's arms.

  The eternal battle for equality has begun.

   Who's getting more of mom's attenion, who is doing what?  

The Twins Go Out in the World!

     The last two days were cold, but today was better.  We took the twins down to the pier today, it was windy, but not bad in the sun.  They really love it when they get out in the world. They just look around. Even in the winter time when they were taken out, they were so covered up and then the stroller top was often pulled down, so they really didn't see anything.  Today at the Cobble Hill Park Gigi and Tess saw kids and we met another set of twins, 8 1/2 months old.     All the new parents are checking one another out.  Its like everybody's discovered a whole new part of the world-parents!
   The mother of twins said that her "milk dried up at 4 months" when she went back to work.I asked her if she read the article in the New York Magazine  about the "feminist housewife".  She shook her head no, and really, what did it matter?
    Jordan was saying when we talked about it that women around the world have always worked, its just the "upper middle class" woman now is talking about staying at home.
    The debates will never end for women are eternally divided within their working self and their mothering self, that is I believe, as long as work is seen as something separate from mothering.  Women's definition of work and men's is different I believe.  Men can go at something 150% for ever.  They are a rocket going into the sky.  Women are a circle that brings life into it.  Their power is their relationships and their family.  They multi-task easily.  One hand is holding a bottle, another hand is feeding a two year old, another hand is talking on the telephone.  SOmetimes its hard for them to "single" task.

It's 80 degrees and everybody's popping out of their seams!

     I feel as if I've escaped a terrible cold.  Everybody is out. Sidney said she talked to her neighbors and found out half the block is divorcing!  You go to the park and everyone is there-fathers, two year olds, old men in wheel chairs, brand new mothers, nannies, babies, strollers, moms carrying kids on bikes.  It's as if WWII just stopped. People are coming out of fox holes!  The nanny wanted me to walk with her and the babies to the pier.  I thought it was too far, but rather than obscessing about a relationship, I decided to go with her. 
   I must say once down there, it was great.  Theresa is from Jamaica and she loves the water and beach.  We sat on a bench, nursed the babies, and just took in the warm air and water.  Again, love is in the air!  The results of previous love-trysts was pregnant women.  But now the babies were taking in the warm air and new sights.  They were without the Zero down 40 and without socks!  They were delighted.  On the way back we said hello to young parents and their daughter "bella" who was dressed up in an outfit and ribbon on her head-she too was 5 months.  While the father proudly held her Gigi squealed with delight! SHe just squealed while Tess smiled.
  When we got back we sat on the stoop in Cobble Hill and took in the sights.  It made me remember summers coming as a child, vacations, and the release from school and winter.
Love is in the air!

2013-the confusing era we live in with regards to families, money, and children!!!!!

   It was 4 of us, all women for dinner on Saturday.  Jordan, myself, Sidney, and Beth, an old friend of Jocelyn's from Columbia.  Beth was a professional photographer and a fine art photographer. Sidney is a portrait photographer.  Both women have had careers and are in their forties.  Beth is married with a young child and her husband has several children from another marriage.  Sidney has two children and is divorced and is living with someone.
  The topic was of how one partners.  Today, as the women are working, the til' death due us part and its "ours" seems to be gone, especially if one is older when one gets married.  Beth had a pre-nup to protect her assets from her husband, who she felt wasn't good with money.  As she told us her situation it became clear that they were married but not committed.  When you are watching and calculating everything its hard for love to grow or trust.  With my friends who got divorced, the situation tended to be that the women held on to their money and lived with a man, but didn't marry him.  Burned me once, not again!
   Jordan was saying that more and more women are moving up in the work force and white males (older) are the most unemployed group.  "Women adjust" Jordan said, "and they can multi task and will just get a job."
   A lot of people in Cobble Hill have "inherited money" and a number of the fathers are home with their wives.  It's funny when you see them at PS29 with their wives to pick up the children.  Their role is hard to define, and they seem a bit out of place.  One couple who has just finished a 3 year restoration on a brownstone and put in an elevator, said they needed to sell it-money, but they did not have that much money!
    Jordan's friend Alice, who is an attorney in San Francisco, used to be both resentful and jealous of her husband who stayed at home (he was an older white male without a job).  He would be arranging play dates and going to the kids activities at school, making their lunches, and Alice would be stuck in a corporate job she didn't like.
    But marriages or relationships are seldom equal.  Most of the time one will have the high powered job and the other one was the "pick me up person".  It doesn't matter if its the woman or the man, the opportunity to keep things "unequal" is always there.  But it never works if one uses their power unfairly over their partner.  You are a team or you are not a team, and if not, why not?
   If we hold back our love, our trust, our fairness, the relationship will always be fighting for equality.  If you see a red flag, like your lover, etc., is not good with money, it doesn't clear up with marriage.  It just goes deeper.  Nor can we ever change the other person, just ourself.
   
   

Refresh and renew-but apartments are still too much!

   The babies are doing well, maybe I spoke too soon.  We had them on a new sleep method, the cry it out method, but this morning Tess is crying more than she's sleeping. It's torturous.  Jordan said that Tess cried last night during the night for 30 minutes and when she picked her up she was quiet.  

   "I know she's testing me" Jordan said.

   The spring seems to be in the air more today than yesterday.  On Saturday all the new babies were at the park with their parents who seemed excited to take in the new world.  Tess and Gigi met a 5 month old boy who was the same  age as them at the park.  His mom and dad seemed excited to find a friend! Ha, the two girls will probably gang up on him.
   In keeping with the renewal of spring I have decided its time to reinvent and renew.  I am going to look at everything I'm doing and taking and how I can cleanse, simplify and de-toxify.  For Parkinsons I take certain medications, but even those I am going to look at again.  My body simply can't take all of the medication they are giving me.  And it does have side effects.  I was rereading Suzanne Sommers book Knockout again.  I definitely am going to take gluthahione again.

I wonder if Michael J. Fox had this test!

    Yesterday I had a five hour test to measure my carba-dopa levels in NY.  I was not supposed to have any medication after midnight-something I've never done since I found out I had Parkinson's. (There is no definitive test for it.) Because I'd had amnesia the NY doctor decided I should have this test to measure my carba-dopa levels.  Jordan and I took a car service in from Brooklyn, and went to Lennox Hill Radiology.  It was a shock to see how small and crowded the waiting room, the changing room, everything was compared to UCLA and Cedars-Sinai. There is just no comparison-really. Admittedly this was a radiology outpatient service, but still, no comparison.  
   Jordan was very good in getting them organized.  Essentially she told them that I'd never done this before (gone without my medication), and that I couldn't just sit in the waiting room for 4 hours, I had to be observed.  Shawna, the technician who was doing the test was really sweet and she worked it out that I could go to one of the rooms with a reclining chair and that I would be observed.
   One of the rooms, off a very narrow hallway, turned out to be a technicians room with screens and a couple of rooms that basically just fit a reclining chair, and a big door that closed between you and the technician.  I was essentially squeezed into this teeny room and the door was shut! I felt claustrophobic.
   So what I did was to go to the bathroom every half an hour and I'd meet people I'd talk to in the hallway.  There was Sylvia, a teacher in the city in her forties who was getting a breast exam and who I learned had her 100 year old grandmother living with her!
   Then there was Ricky, 60, who was with his mother, Carol, aged 87, who'd raised Ricky and his 2 brothers as a single parent.  She lived in the East 70's in a rent controlled apartment for 46 years by herself.
   "She goes up and down 4 flights of stairs every day by herself. She was wearing half nylons and she slipped on the parquet floor and now she needs Xrays" Ricky told Sylvia and myself as Carol undressed in this teeny, teeny half closet off the narrow hallway.  
   We sat there talking for about an hour waiting, each one of us, for various reasons.  It turned out we'd all been raised Catholic.  Ricky was quite a talker.
   "I went down to Florida, but came back to help mom.  When I was a kid you'd never do 'somethin' without your mother finding out about it.  All the other mothers would watch our for you and tell your mom.  But I didn't raised my kids in the city, I went out of the city up to the mountains."
   Carol comes out in her gown."I don't like not wearing my clothes."
   Ricky"It's just for the test mom!"
   "I know" Carol answers as she paddles down the hallway.
   I tell them I'm here with my daughter who has twins.  Everything seems very strange to me in NY, but I don't get into that. 
   "I can't stay with my grandkids more than 3 days, when I'm with their mother.  If it was just me, they listen to me.  But with their mother, they don't listen. I can't do it.  We used to bend down so my mother could hit us!"
   And on and on we talk until they go and its time for my test. It's now 1:30, and I've been at this place since 9am.  I am to lay on this narrow hard surface and keep my head still for 32 minutes. I think I can do it but then once the test starts my legs are shaking.  I wonder how I will make it.  I guess I do have "Parkinsons" I think.  Too bad, maybe the NY doctor, who had some questions about my PD had been right. But now with my legs shaking I had to rethink the whole thing.  Too bad. But the good news was I made it through the test and I made it back to Brooklyn.  
    
    

April , Renewal and getting a night time baby nurse!!!

    The night time is disasterous-the girls are not sleeping. Forget the books, nobodies getting any sleep at all!  Tess and Gigi take turns keeping Jordan and me up all night!  They are out of their car seats, thank God.  But they don't fit into the swaddles any more that restrict their arms and legs from moving. Last night we got them down, but then they were up from 3am to 6 am.  One or the other is crying, and Jordan puts them in bed with her which gets exhausting.
    She's been reading all the baby books on sleep-Healthy babies, Happy Sleep; the cry method, the no cry method.
     All the logic goes out the window when you want sleep. So tonight the night time baby nurse, Christine, who is from the Philipines, is coming. Hopefully, Jordan will get some sleep.  I am going to a friends.
    Young parents get so desperate around this stuff, and with good reason.  The babies need feeding every 3 and 1/2 hours.  They are "on" you.  The new parents spend money on anything that works-sound machines, books, baby nurses, wedges for the crib, swaddles, etc.  They are such a hungry market-billions can be made off of them.
    Jordan and were laughing at how we've become this return team-the other day we bought an antique rocker, I got it home and saw it was broken in the back where you'd sit.  That was the end of the rocker-took it back. I bought a sweeper-it didn't clean very well and the cord wouldn't retract-bam, I took it back. 
    Jordan wants to get a new couch, and soon we'll need better cribs.  But she wants everything organic, so the costs shoot up.  Organic cribs are around $1000 -not sure if that includes the mattress.  And on and on.
    The help and equipment is running over $1000 a week.  The money is flying out the door.  Well, I'm off to the neighbors!