It seems to come with the territory, parents dyings, estates being left, one sibling suing another sibling, or dominating and unfairly treating others. Jordan was telling about her latest family drama over the estate. The estate should be settled but her brothers are angling for a fight on the estate. Of course they are investment brokers with plenty of money-its just ego with them. But Jordan needs the money. Years ago I would have said that's ridiculous, but it seems more the norm than anything else these days. Our own family had a fight that wound up in a lawsuit and many hurt feelings. Another friend's sister sued her and her brother over a house in Seacliff, San Francisco on the beach.
It's almost like the worst traits of the parents dive into one or two of the siblings and they re-inact the family drama. It's often done in a most vicious and controlling way, but the sibling doing it feels very self righteous in their behavior.
And then the family ruptures, old wounds are brought up, and siblings stop speaking to one another for years. Whatever issues the parents had around money, wealth, generosity are re-inacted by the children, often showing up after death. The sibling often assumes one parents role, in my case our father was a tightwad and very controlling around money. He wanted me to share my wedding dress, which I had made, with my sister who was supposed to get married a few months later. My father would charge me to ride with him to the university where he taught, and he was also a slum landlord forcing us to "work" on the properties weekends, etc. without any warning. Money was impossible for him to spend or enjoy. He saved everything-he'd buy his clothes at Salvation Army and my mom at Saks. It was not pretty what happened in our family when he died, and grudges still float around.
The cleaner and clearer the parents relationship to money, the better transition the children will have.
After all, who wants these grudges?
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