Being perfect and the Olympics!

      Every four years we have the Olympics.  One Olympian, an American cross country skier lost a medal by .05 one hundredth of a second.  Four years and its over in .05 of one second.  
    The quest for perfection.  Bode Miller flying down the hill at 90 miles an hour.  Just driving 90 miles an hour is scary but your body being the car! What if you crash?
   Last night Shawn White blew his 3rd gold medal away in the finals.  He had always looked so young, so carefree with his long hair, easy smile, the mittens, lose clothing the skateboarders use.  It was a new sport and Shawn White embodied it.  It seemed so easy for him, it just came-the flips, turns, tricks.  
   He was all over the Olympics-Shawn White returning for his 3rd gold medal.  Why shouldn't he have it?  And it looked like it was his for the taking going into the finals, he was leading the pack with scores around 92.  
    But the cracks are there.  He already had some problems and dropped one of his events.  His hair is shorter.  He isn't the kid any more.  He seems to want it with an intensity that is no longer casual.
   The wanting-oh not to want, and not to know. 1st run of the finals and Shawn White is not only human, he blows it!  Instead of the 90's, he's at 35.  There's no room for greatness and nonchalance, the wanting compromises us.  Now beneath the helmet and the stars and stripes scarf, Shawn White wants the way Putin wants these games to establish Russia as a great country.
  It's not the case of talent erupting from a country, but the want of fear and control.  This is Putins baby, but not a baby he lets have a natural, open, loving environment.  No, this baby must be perfect and do it right lest the baby embarrass Putin.  You see it in the fake way Putin congratulates the Russian ice team.  They are in fear of this man, but it looks like awe.
   So Shawn White wants to do a great run but you know the pressure is too much even before he's gone.  You can feel the tension beneath the helmet and scarf covering his face.  In order to pull off a great run, you can't be in fear and control. It will contract your body, box in your mind.  He is not a God anymore.  He comes in with a 90.  He is 2 1/2 points beneath the leader.  He is in 4th place.  And a few days earlier he'd dropped out of another competition wanting to "concentrate" on this one.
   He tries to brush it off, it wasn't his day, but the innocence is gone.  He is not perfect.  And Putins Olympics, for their 70 billion dollar price tag, feel stiff, nervous, controlled.  This is a people who live in a controlled state.

Pre School for 20 month old twins in Cobble Hill $100,000 a year before taxes!

     It has been more than a month since I've blogged.         I've been in a funk.  I can't decide what to do, where to go.  I am the immigrant in New York, and as I tell my daughter, not a New Yorker.
     The bloom is off the rose, the girls are bigger, and I must face my life. This is not my house, I am not really a nanny, and they are 17 months in a few days.  It is not easy for one generation to live with another one and it's still cold here.  It was around 60 yesterday afternoon, and today it's in the forties.  I find it hard to believe for the end of March that there is to be snow on Tuesday.  It's 80 in California.
     The girls are now competitive.  Tess is clinging to Jordan and she has a fit to get her way.  Gigi is much more a light to the wind.  Her little face lights up and she is constantly in motion.  Tess used to be the twin on top who didn't move and down below Gigi was constantly in motion.
     Jordan met Jamie at the park today who has 20 month old twins, Emma and Rose.  There was not the flood of parents from yesterday where you could barely walk through Carroll Gardens Park as it was 60 degrees. Today its colder, but still the parents and their little ones venture out to discover the world. A few weeks ago when Jamie was over she talked about sending Emma and Rose to the Montesori pre-school to the tune of $60,000 for the two of them for a year.  
      "I'd have to get rid of my nannie and call up the school and beg for the girls to get off the waiting list. But I'm thinking, whoa…is this what I want? $100,000 a year before taxes?  And I think, hold on now Jamie…"
     Jordan said: "I'll hire college students to come in and teach them before I'll pay those kinds of salaries. It's ridiculous."
     The girls were all busy going in different directions.  Jamie's girls pretty much wander on their own.  Tess was clinging to Jordan and Gigi was running around with a ball.