It is Valentines day. Happy hearts day to you. It is a mixed day for me. I lost my eldest son 4 years ago on Valentines Day. He has 4 children. I had gone to a grief group one a week pretty much for 3 years, but after I hurt my back I hadn't driven to Pasadena for the group and then I came to NY.
So I found myself bursting out crying on the 13th, I didn't post yesterday. I was just too sad. And today, I can do it. Not that I didn't cry. It just pops or spurts out of you. I went to lunch with a friend, we had a good chat, and then I came back to the girls. I was going to yoga, but decided against it. The girls, Tess and Gigi, dressed in their Valentines finest were half crying, half playing. I spent some time with them and their nanny Madge. She gave them a bath in a little plastic tub and neither girl cried. She washed their heads, their bodies, their little feet. I really expected Gigi to squak, but she didn't.
I'd seen an apartment yesterday, it was in Boerhm Hill across from the projects and they wanted $3000 a month. The apartment was 1180 square feet, one big room at top about 15 x 18 and you went down steps to a hallway where they had a desk and two bedrooms. The bedrooms were dark because the windows were in a well and there was a cover over it. It wasn't horrible, but something that should be about 1600, not $3000. And the houses next to it were rather seedy. They want 200-to 280 for a garage. I essentially told the agent I didn't know why people lived in NY-they seemed to struggle for so little. It just didn't seem like a good neighborhood for the girls, and there was nothing magical about the apartment.
On the other hand, Jordan's loft is a huge room, 42 x 12, with a small bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom off of it. It has great light, high ceilings, a brick wall, and hardwood floors. I was so happy to get back to her apartment.
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