Last night I went to a Buddhist chanting group. They chanted as a group for 35 minutes and then had a meeting about gratitude. The chanting was very interesting, I grew up Catholic and always loved Gregorian chant. My daughter was saying that chanting is in a lower tone and it calms the brain. That was why she became a vegetarian, the concept of harming no living thing. I chanted and my mind was at rest-which is good. Later on during the meeting I said that chanting was like going back to the baby state. You are connected to one another, and we all want to be loved, cuddled and not alone. Babies look at you and laugh and talk to you and coo.
But when we feel alone inside, chanting does help you to enter the universal state of togetherness and not being isolated. It quiets the mind and is a form of meditation. It is a challenge not to feel isolated or alone in life. And one can be in a marriage and feel more alone than when you are alone. When communication leaves a marriage, sex then goes way down. (Unless you are an addict!) When we feel open and heard, then we are attracted to our partner. When we can be truly honest and not be judged.
So the little side of us, the little vulnerable helpless side needs to be nourished, touched, loved and coo-ed to! In the beginning one is not in judgement in a relationship and is open to the other person. That is why so much love, touching, kissing flows between them. But as we go along and our resentments build up, our judgement goes up and the communication dries up, we are no longer "open" to the other person. We are sure we know them, know all about them. But we don't-we know only how we have narrowed them down to our vision, our boundaries.
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