I was crying a few hours earlier. Valentines Day has become a mixed bag for me. My eldest son, Richard, died of a suicide on Valentines day 6 years ago. He had four young children. So my feelings are all over the place today. On the one hand Jordan's girls are darling and very busy and chatty. I just see them and I get happy. Jordan gave me some great pants, my favorite brand. It's warmer and the snow is melting, the sun shining.
With this weather and the 3rd floor walk up, I dream of Los Angeles. I dream of being at the beach with the girls in Laguna. Jordan says she's never going to LA, that it isn't a good place to raise a young girl.
I am like the European who comes to America but then wants to be back in the mother country. So little Italy, Ireland, Spain, etc., is recreated in NY. I am in Brooklyn, but I think of the West Coast and quote it all the time. By being in a new place you can see the old place much clearer-the good and the bad.
The girls made cards for Jordan, (they marked it with a marker Munroe stuck in her mouth). And we made flour-salt balls to make molds of their hand. It was quite a mess- Munroe squeezed her hand together twice in the flour-salt mixture, stuck some of the paste in her mouth and hated it. I got Matisse's pretty easily, she let me push her hand into the mixture. But then she screamed like a stuffed pig when I took it away.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Putin and Shawn White and the "wanting"
Every four years we have the Olympics. One Olympian, Kikkan Randall, an American cross country skier, lost going into the finals by .05 one hundredth of a second. Four years and its over in .05 one hundredth of a second.
The quest for perfection. Bode Miller flying down the hill at 90 miles an hour. Just driving 90 miles an hour is scary but your body being the car! What if you crash?
Last night Shawn White blew his 3rd gold medal away in the finals. He had always looked so young, so carefree with his long hair, easy smile, the mittens, and lose clothing. It was a new sport and Shawn White embodied it. It seemed so easy for him, it just came-the flips, turns, tricks.
He was all over the Olympics-Shawn White returning for his 3rd gold medal. Why shouldn't he have it? And it looked like it was his for the taking going into the finals, he was leading the pack with scores around 92.
But the cracks were there. He already had some problems and dropped one of his events. His hair is shorter. He isn't the kid any more. He seems to want it with an intensity that is no longer casual.
The wanting-oh not to want, and not to know. 1st run of the finals and Shawn White is not only human, he blows it! Instead of the 90's, he's at 35. There's no room for greatness and nonchalance, the wanting compromises us. Now beneath the helmet and the stars and stripes scarf, Shawn White wants the way Putin wants these games to establish Russia as a great country.
It's not the case of talent erupting from a country, but the want of fear and control. This is Putins baby, but not a baby he lets have a natural, open, loving environment. No, this baby must be perfect and do it right lest the baby embarrass Putin. You see it in the fake way Putin congratulates the Russian ice team. They are in fear of this man, but it looks like awe.
So Shawn White wants to do a great run but you know the pressure is too much even before he's gone. You can feel the tension beneath the helmet and scarf covering his face. In order to pull off a great run, you can't be in fear and control. It will contract your body, box in your mind. He is not a God anymore. He comes in with a 90. He is 2 1/2 points beneath the leader. He is in 4th place. And a few days earlier he'd dropped out of another competition wanting to "concentrate" on this one.
He tries to brush it off, it wasn't his day, but the innocence is gone. He is not perfect. And Putins Olympics, for their 70 billion dollar price tag, feel stiff, nervous, controlled. This is a people who live in a controlled state. You can feel it through the TV.
The quest for perfection. Bode Miller flying down the hill at 90 miles an hour. Just driving 90 miles an hour is scary but your body being the car! What if you crash?
Last night Shawn White blew his 3rd gold medal away in the finals. He had always looked so young, so carefree with his long hair, easy smile, the mittens, and lose clothing. It was a new sport and Shawn White embodied it. It seemed so easy for him, it just came-the flips, turns, tricks.
He was all over the Olympics-Shawn White returning for his 3rd gold medal. Why shouldn't he have it? And it looked like it was his for the taking going into the finals, he was leading the pack with scores around 92.
But the cracks were there. He already had some problems and dropped one of his events. His hair is shorter. He isn't the kid any more. He seems to want it with an intensity that is no longer casual.
The wanting-oh not to want, and not to know. 1st run of the finals and Shawn White is not only human, he blows it! Instead of the 90's, he's at 35. There's no room for greatness and nonchalance, the wanting compromises us. Now beneath the helmet and the stars and stripes scarf, Shawn White wants the way Putin wants these games to establish Russia as a great country.
It's not the case of talent erupting from a country, but the want of fear and control. This is Putins baby, but not a baby he lets have a natural, open, loving environment. No, this baby must be perfect and do it right lest the baby embarrass Putin. You see it in the fake way Putin congratulates the Russian ice team. They are in fear of this man, but it looks like awe.
So Shawn White wants to do a great run but you know the pressure is too much even before he's gone. You can feel the tension beneath the helmet and scarf covering his face. In order to pull off a great run, you can't be in fear and control. It will contract your body, box in your mind. He is not a God anymore. He comes in with a 90. He is 2 1/2 points beneath the leader. He is in 4th place. And a few days earlier he'd dropped out of another competition wanting to "concentrate" on this one.
He tries to brush it off, it wasn't his day, but the innocence is gone. He is not perfect. And Putins Olympics, for their 70 billion dollar price tag, feel stiff, nervous, controlled. This is a people who live in a controlled state. You can feel it through the TV.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)